Spray Of Thoughts

Holiday's Ending

2012-01-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

A typical day during the holidays would be waking up late like a boss, having brunch instead of a proper breakfast and lunch, sitting back and relaxing on my bed, and just basically looking up the immensely gorgeous sky outside the window.

Waking up by the sudden chill of the fan, or maybe the sun. Yeap, that's a normal everyday look of my temporary bedroom. The sajdah on the carpet, the smell of the strong oud insence, books piled up.

Well, my boring days weren't just all about that. Of course, I had to do something. Something that I can immerse myself into and get lost inside this unknown psychedelic world. So, I grabbed my sketch book and started pointing the ink wherever my mind leads it to. I was succumb to the idea of relentlessly searching for images or any item that inspired me to draw. Started off with fashion-related illustrations, then I tamed myself towards portraits.

At times, I'd have sleepless nights just so I could finish up some of the sketches. Pardon me, some of the angles of the images taken do not look like it should have. But, whatever.. I'm gonna continue drawing!

Silly Dreams of Mine

2012-01-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

I want to be able to travel the world, and take magnificent photos of anything that's inspiring to my eyes. Anything, from scenery to people to shops, anything that crosses my eyes. I'm going to take as many photos as I want and stamp them at the walls of my studio. A huge white wall filled with just photos, clipped among each other, from photos of me meeting strangers on the streets to colors of the rainbow on a random hill. I do imagine a lot. I dream a lot.

I want to be able to walk, and explore the streets and the still air so I'll recognize the scenes as I tell stories of my adventures to my children. Meet and greet with friendly faces of an old city, ancient as it may seem, I love how authentic and real a place can be, the rawness of the lives and souls that have lived there. Some people search for money, and endless fame, and all of that. I mean, who am I kidding, everyone longs for that, even myself. But I long more to continue inspire my soul, to feed it with the love of art.

Be it, visiting places or challenging myself to do things I'd thought I'd never be able to, I just want to leave this earth with a meaning. I want my life to mean something. I don't care with the issue of making mistakes, 'cuz we humans are inevitable towards that. We make mistakes, we should give more and we should love more.

I want to be able to just focus on my dreams, and fall in love at the same time. I need to learn more of it, the true meaning of it, not just having any silly and short relationships. I want something real, something that can teach and guide me thoroughly. I lack the experience in this area, to be honest, that's why I need something that can take me on a crazy journey, to commit to it, and not to run away from it. I love the idea of having countless white canvases waiting in a room for me to be painted. Messy stained clothes hanging on chairs, colored paint brushes on the table, two or three wooden palettes beside the window panes. Just my paintings and I, that's enough to keep me content.

Photos Courtesy of ; www.abduzeedo.com

That's A Wrap!

2011-12-31T07:52:00.000-08:00

As a recap of 2011, people generally would start babbling about striving for the better in almost everything. "I'm gonna lose 10 kg this year, I shall start falling in love, no fears no regrets." Then, before you know it, the next year, they end up saying the same things all over again.

Putting aside all of that, this year has been yet, tremendous. Well, at least for me. Alhamdulillah. Screw twitter for the over capacity at this moment, as I'm writing. Screw facebook, I deactivated my account. I remember on the 31st, exactly last year, my peeps and I gathered at a friend's house for her farewell party and cruised off to a nearby hill to see the fireworks together. It was indeed a tear-jerking moment. To actually stand there with my old friends, and to look back at how far we've come. I loved that feeling.

Not knowing what the year ahead had to offer, I stood there innocently. And today, I'm left here in my room, writing about it. No going out, no celebrating, just my laptop and I. Writing, continuously writing my minds off while everyone out there hassling to see the big shows.

Turning 18

2011-11-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

As much as i'd like to fight these feelings, they just come back to haunt me over and over again. I don't have a specific term to describe this dimension I've been thrown into. Is it real or is it just a fantasy that my mind created out of utter innocence. I want to talk about me first, about what I'm experiencing now. I don't know how long it'll last, though I am sure it's going to stick around for a while. Until I figure out what exactly it's trying to tell me. If I fall hard, I'll fall pretty hard that I'll get myself hurt and scarred. Is it a chance that I should take? Or am I just going to fall into the same pattern? Demeaning it is, delirious it seems. I'd rather brush it off before I think more about it. The more I care, the more it hurts. I hope someday there will be the ultimate closure for this, something that could confirm what I've felt for the past few months is real.

Less Sleep

2011-10-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

I've been drowning myself with food up to a point where even my long time peeps could notice the growing and expansion of both my cheeks. It's pretty difficult for me to gain weight, actually. No matter how much I consume, I would burn most of it later on. Well, I guess that's what they say about holidays, the amount of shoving food down your throat and sleeping are almost equivalent, exceeding any other beneficial activities, leading to freezing of fats in all the wrong places.

College's starting in less than a week. After almost a month of holiday, I am still clueless of what to expect for this coming semester. It sure has been a crazy ride for the past 5 months, that I wouldn't deny. Things would seem like they're about to blow out of proportions, and they do but that's just the beauty of it.

Balloons have always captured me in a way that they can just glide innocently through the thin air. I've fallen in love with the idea of releasing loads of colorful ones into the sky, ever since I saw this video of an intensely heartbreaking story of a sick baby named Elliot, years ago where his parents released 99 balloons into the air when he passed away. It has since become a dream of mine to gather my friends at a beautiful vast field of lavender flowers and simply let go off balloons as the sun rays fall on our faces. Looking up at the authenticity of the true blue sky, and pops of various colors of balloons start filling it up. Wouldn't it be so calming to set yourself free for a while and appreciate. To just have a moment to appreciation.

Till then.

A Moment of Appreciation

2011-10-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

Paid a visit to two of the iconic places here, which were the National Mosque and the Islamic Arts Museum, both truly captured the true essence of Islam, architecture-wise. Went there with my old folks a few months back, so I decided to post some of the photos that were taken.

I Can't Deny

2011-10-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always been surrounded by extremely loud people. I just don't seem to understand or clarify myself as to why it is always like that. I would like to consider myself as a less of a talker, more of a thinker. Pfft. But it's true, I don't really talk much unless if I'm with my usual people. To say myself as an observer would be quite of a bullsh*t, as I gladly declare myself as an oblivious human being.

It is as if I will never get away from these specific type of flamboyant group of people. They might not come from the same era of time when I got to know them, but they are quite similar in characteristics. Don't get me wrong, I adore them. I more than adore them. They are loud enough for people to hate on them, but in the end, they get around more. They last longer than those haters. They just get more people to talk more about them. Look, I'm not trying to make an analysis out of my boisterous peeps, but one thing I learnt from them is that you can never go wrong with speaking out for yourself. Be bold and never look back on your past. Stay true to yourself and don't shove people away to get where you want to be, but just walk faster and mind your own business. Even the vibe they let out when one enters a room, people would be like.. "Oh you got attitude, but people seem to be drawn to it,".

“Being safe is boring. Being boring is forgettable.”

—

Joe Zee.

It's not that imperative or crucial to create chaos where ever you go, just don't be a fake, that's all. In reality, we have to stay real as possible to leave a mark. Some people just can't stop talking, but the more they talk, that's when others will realize he or she has a point, that they actually have a clear vision. Well, on the contrary, it's not always going to be easy when your intention is to voice out your thought, and all you get is a big splash of "You're a joke,". I guess that's how they get around, by multiple rejections and contradictions. Honestly, they're the toughest people I know. They stayed firm on the ground and held the harsh wind like warriors.

You could be daring or audacious or simply borderline annoying, as long as you do it right.

Need I say more about this man?

To Know the Unseen, The Worlds Between.

2011-10-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

I feel sick and sad and vulnerable and everything miserable for missing out the Big Bad Wolf book fair, which was held for two weeks straight and the day that I was convinced to go, a friend delivered the news that it ended that day. Today. *Gulps and shoots myself.

How in the world, you know what, I don't even want to start.

A one-month holiday. Is it enough? Would it be enough for me? It makes no sense that I have to bear with the absence of my dearest college mates, especially my roommates (for them, 3 months of holiday). I, never in a million years, thought I'd get along so well with them. It's like sisterhood of travelling pants, we could depend on each other any time. I promised to give them a call some time when I'm free. I couldn't imagine how my life would have been without them. They would hear to everything that I'd like to get off my chest. Everyday. Or what would used to be.

In Shallah, we'll meet again.

This photo. taken a few months ago from the windows of my college room. Out of all the mishaps I had to go through there, how can I not smile realizing how all of that sums up to an imperfectly perfect day. Each time.

Waiting for you

2011-10-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

I can't help myself from admitting how the term balance and I don't go well together. We just don't seem to get along. Yes, anything that has to do with balance, I fail. Let's say, if I were to run away from a psycho killer and all I have is a bicycle to assist me, I'd die instantly on the spot. I can't even handle a bike, for God's sake.

They say, "fail, fail again... fail better." I think I had a glance of the quote on tumblr. Well, I guess who ever wrote that has a point. The mind works in numerous ways, some say it's all psychology.

A friend actually insisted me on "updating" this dusty blog. Really, I haven't been standing on my feet and let myself loose with this form of expressing my soul. I might have the feeling that I have lost it. My soul. Work consumed me. In and out. Jyeah right. Jyeah bloody right. I've been wasting my time by what I call, hibernating. I threw away all of the precious time by sleeping in. The first week of holiday was, as I'd like to quote it.. "Unproductive". For 5 days straight, I snuggled under the sheets, with my baggy black Melawati High sweater, not even waking up to the sunlight shining through the windows. I was literally living like a caveman.

And as week two came dropping by, the time seemed to be flowing so fast I couldn't even catch up. Penang, outing with friends, dinner with the Jeddahians. I could finally breathe after tonight ended. Talking about the beautiful Penang Island, it has never, not even once, failed to exceed my expectations. All the little precious things unfold from one spot to another just like unwrapping a lovely gift. Alhamdulillah.. And I love my parents for that. What I initially thought was unnecessary has always been a vice versa for them. They knew it all along, that everything'd turn out just like the way we wanted, that is worth the experience.

Either way, or what not, blessed with these events in my life, I could feel these bonds getting stronger than ever. Be it, with family, friends, Allah... Subhanallah.

She's the loveliest. Enough said.

Am lucky to know this wonderful giggling lady.

Went on a cruise to witness the breathtaking sunset and sunrise

Hehe, Sorry Huda. I'd like to use this photo :B

Holes to be Filled

2011-09-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

Life's been good. I never knew how something so small could really transform drastically that it could change my life. So easily. Meetings. Separations. Everything, almost everything we went through together. As we go through it, we don't really see how it could affect us deeply. Gives me goosebumps almost every time.

Trust, Hope, Expectations. Though I walk through life getting to know people from different angles, perhaps that's just how I learn. Those who can easily break my trust, those I can depend on. Sometimes, shit happens just so we get to open our eyes bigger and observe better. Sometimes, you do good to people and they misplaced that deed, turned your back on you, misused you as a friend. Trust me, just leave and walk away from them. If they greet you, just smile. Don't waste your time treating them good or even putting a grudge on them.

Credence is hard to gain once you enter a higher phase in your life; College, Adulthood. I feel like I've been up all night, thinking how my dreams aren't within my grasp as I thought it'd be. I kept thinking to myself, "It's still too early." But then again, I can never stop thinking about the goals I have set. Holding tight on my sword, in my armor, fighting against these courses of life. As I battle it out, I could see these dark shadows, always trying to distract my full attention ahead. Swift as a horse, I am also battling against my fear. This whole life is a warfare..

What ever that is on my mind, I would think twice before saying it out loud. 'Cuz I've been hurt by those who don't. Don't you get exhausted just to be the medium of 'lean on my shoulders' than something much more that that? Makes me think how I'm pretty much meaningless to. Anything.

These wee hours are making me ooze out my unsettling emotions than my happy thoughts. Screw it. It's been a long time. Am not trying to seek for unwanted response, just getting tired of being asked for when people need me and being tossed out after that. No one likes to feel that way. It's the worst, yet the worst feeling. I'd just like to know if I'm worth the time I spent on these people.

Time heals

2011-08-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

Funny how a simple song could inspire one to write. Perhaps it's the feeling it creates from the beauty and uniqueness of the voice of the artist. I don't know, really.

You see, I'm pretty much blessed with amazing new friends in this new place. UIA has set a whole different perspective in me. Every day of my life here narrates different stories, it is never the same. At the end of each day, events of that day sum up beautifully, either in a good way or a bad way. Bad, for me to learn from it. And the good for me to experience it. Allah is Beautiful.

Never thought 2000 is already 11 years ago. The first few years of my life as I start to create memories, the ones which are hard to forget. First trip outside of the country, the first time getting excited seeing the airplane about to take off, witnessing a different ambience once you stepped outside the airport, running our pretty parks and chasing down pigeons on pavements. It's been a long journey since that point ahead.

Now, packed with mounting assignments, sketch tasks, and endless projects. Maybe it is the time for me to get busy and work, after being idle for quite some time.

Today marks the 13th day of Ramadhan. Never too late for me to wish all Muslims, Ramadhan Kareem! :)

Mini Heart-attacks

2011-06-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

My top 5 mini heart attacks include situations like these :

a) You seem to be eye-ing on someone really cute in college since the first day, and bloody got the chance to know him through your friend, somehow. Don't you just love how the universe works?

b) You couldn't find your key, and starts to blindly search for it everywhere, when it turned out you've been clasping on the key tightly in your left hand.

c) Finished pee-ing and feeling all relieved, then suddenly the bathroom door couldn't be opened. *Ninja mode*

d) Your all-time favorite song comes up on the radio. And you're like "Oh-oh-oh-oh! Turn up the volume!"

e) 10 minutes late to an event and hyperventilating.

Care to share yours? :)

CFS IIUM, Petaling Jaya.

2011-06-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

“Mungkin apa yang kita tak sukai adalah yang terbaik untuk kita, Mungkin apa yang kita sangat sukai, tidak sesuai dengan kita.” Inspiring words came out from one of the seniors during her tazkirah after maghrib prayers. I held on to every word she said, as I leaned closely towards the moral of the whole story. Amazing it is, I’d cry just as I recall any events or memories that remind me of my parents. As cliché as it may sound, how can I not miss them? How can YOU not miss your parents? Friends that shape your life, sometimes they flicker in my mind. The first few days, I’d cry myself to sleep. I bet everyone here did the exact same thing. I find shedding some tears is healthy for us to feel better after that. It really does feel good, it sort of allows me to expel my sadness and accept new things. New environment. New friends.

As she (the senior) continued talking, she explained more about “Ujian dari Allah” meaning obstacles that Allah has prepared for us. Being here at first definitely felt terrible. Everything seemed wrong, the room’s too gloomy, the toilet’s too far away, the locker’s too small. And as day two comes, everything felt different, I could accept the tests better, they could be dealt better. I’ve realized how ungrateful I was about the amazing opportunities that were given to me. I have been complaining too much. I wouldn’t say I’m lucky, I would say I’m pretty much blessed. I’m blessed with really good new friends, the place is just half an hour away from my house, unlike the rest who live in Terengganu, Sarawak, Perlis or Kedah. Every element of the place remains it’s Islamic values, which assists me a lot in reminding myself of the true way of Islam. Be it covering my Aurah, Solah 5 times a day, and etc. Allah’s Great, just ‘cuz he knows best.

“Jangan lalai dekat sana, Jaga waktu solat, diha. Buya Mama takda nak kejut kau.” Constantly being reminded by them parents before I left.

Through these windows beside my bed, I see houses surrounding this college. Then I thought what could’ve happened in that house people call home, how’s the family, did their children go to the same college as me, did their lives turn out like the way they wanted it to. Thinking is all I do here, I’m always at the verge of asking, wanting to know. I spent some time surfing the net at a cyber café for the first week, charged 50 cents for half an hour. The guy who controls the place even recognizes me now. Big-sized, tanned skin, slightly long curly hair, Jamaican-ish look, very soft-spoken. Twice I couldn’t hear what he said to me about the payment. We both laughed.

Life here, is different. Tried my best to preserve my lifestyle at home, here. Most of the time, I prefer to be on my own. A lone ranger moves faster. Yet at times, some friends would call up to get together and eat. Four people in a room sounds quite hectic, but everyone’s cool. They’re not noise, very tolerable or at least for now. The room’s huge, to be frank.

Every face I see here somehow reminds me of someone, a friend, a cousin, a teacher of mine. Déjà vu?

I’d never thought I’d be spending furthering my studies without my usual buds. The realization that I’m finally on my own, is quite overwhelming. Just when you thought you’d be young forever, you won’t. You can’t. That’s the beauty of growing up.

To be honest, I’m starting to feel the vibe of this place. I meet and greet new people almost every single day. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to capture decent-looking photos here, perhaps later. The first and second weeks were quite a bore. Lectures haven’t even started yet, leaving us all clueless of what to do. No outings were even prohibited for us, except for Tuesdays where we were given a “generous” amount of time to go visit the pasar malam nearby, and also weekends. Speaking of weekends, am cherishing them as I know I won't be able to spare my time later on to blog, meet up with friends and chilling out with them parents.

Till then.

Closing chapter of May

2011-05-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

It's nice when you wake up, smell breakfast mom has made, and just look over the world outside your windows. Stunning view of the hills, covered with greens.

Since college's around the corner, I've been up late every night, figuring out what I should bring, what I should not. Shoes, more shoes, hijabs, more hijabs. Ever little bit of excitement starts to grow which sort of bring up more anticipation of wanting to know what I'll encounter there. Who I'll meet. What kind of people I have to put up with. There, I meant would be this place called the Centre of Foundation Studies, International Islamic University Malaysia (CFS IIUM), where I'll be studying my foundation in Architecture and Environmental Design course. It's surreal, really.

Having this feeling of not really knowing what to feel or expect, is quite confusing. I've been so used to my couch potato lifestyle, not really doing anything at home besides reading books and surging through people's blogs. Concerning that I do have a lazy eye. Freaky as it may sound, wait till you see how my eye jumps up and down when I'm eating. One of the many things I wish could've disappeared, it was pretty obvious when I was younger, now seems much more adjustable, I could control my eye now.

Definition of LAZY EYE

: amblyopia; also : an eye affected with amblyopia

Any time I felt slightly empowered, I'd clean up some of the recycled materials and one time, I managed to revamp my dad's "office", (wouldn't call it office though just 'cuz) which was so horrifying. Dust, junk after junk, documents only used in the 70s and 80s, piles and piles of paper. Mom and I share a common gene, the anti-hoarders, whereas Buya suffers from this syndrome, where he just couldn't let things go. Not even wedding cards. Shoot me.

Bright side was, I finally, finally obtained a beautiful Pass for my driving test. I just feel like I could take over the world now! Well, I could.

I'll miss having talks with my parents after dinner at night. They're all I've got. And when suddenly tear-jerking moments like how I miss my grandmother made me think. I've had the shortest time spent with her, though it felt like I knew her long before anyone else did, I loved her deeply although she didn't take care of me, unlike the rest. I would lie down next to her and just watch her sleeping soundly, she tried her best to continue telling me stories, yet she falls asleep every time. It didn't matter to me, 'cuz I felt comfortable. Her long, long white hair, tied up in a bun, her smell, the sweet cigarette smell. She smoked, a lot, yet it didn't matter to me, 'cuz that's the only smell I could identify her with. Too early, she left.

Life's just too short to sacrifice happiness. Love all you can.

With Words

2011-05-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

I realized I could connect better with myself through words. I find peace in writing. It sorta let me travel to this unknown world filled with endless possibilities, where I could dream, create and make things happen. Maybe, 2 to 4 times a week, I'll let loose and let my thoughts ooze gradually, by blogging. It allows me to just have a 3D HD Movie moment, where everything glides beautifully as indie song tracks being played in the background, letting the scenes to roll in my head as I figure out how I could narrate them into paragraphs. Events of life I'd like to share, moments that just take your breath away and just spending time with your loved ones.

With words, you could convince, you could express, you could fantasize. Yet at times, you just can't take them back.

Millions of people are probably laying down on bed, with their laptop in front of them, just like me, writing about the no. 1 common issue, life. Humans give birth, grow old and die, whereas, life is the part where everything is discussed all the time, something that never grows old.

The little things that define it, to me are :

a) The subject of your text messages with your oldest friends suddenly changes from school works and projects to missing each other due to college and plans on who'll get engaged first.

b) The awkward moment when meeting up again after not seeing each other for even 1 or 2 weeks.

c) Parents planning on turning your room into their study room, as you're in college which makes it easier for them to plan.

d) You save your most memorable photos of your best buddies in your brand new laptop, just so you relive the memories as you go through them again. An excuse to not entirely forget about them.

e) Beautiful inspiring songs begin to appear out of nowhere, whenever you feel down, so as to remind you the main objective of the decisions you have made.

f) Your cat starts to act differently, wanting more of your affection, just as if he/she knows that you'll be leaving.

g) Mom, holding back tears, knowing that her job is finally done.

h) The moment when you know that life has just begun.

I Have This Thing

2011-05-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I have a thing for Home Deco. It excites me, from every element the subject is able to catch someone's attention. I love how everything about it involves experimentation, which allows me to discover new ideas and inspirations. It's the thing that makes me smile every time I see it on the cover magazine on a book shelf in stores. It's the thing that tickles my heart, making me wanting more and more of it, the need to know how this undiscovered world works. Some of the materials that I enjoy and couldn't seem to get enough of, are DIY projects, Flea Market finds and Designer looks for less.

But let's face the fact, that I live in Malaysia, the place where vintage finds cost ridiculously and the home decoration shops and accessories shops that can be found here are originally brought down here from overseas, such as UK and Australia. Which literally means that even beautiful printed papers cost from RM 30 to RM 60. I don't know how the society feels about this, they probably won't even care, but I believe this is nonsense. I think this is why most of our generation aren't creatively inclined towards this area. It's sad, yet kinda cool as it is still unknown, not introduced fully to make an impact.

Go pick up one of these magazines at Kinokuniya. I used to splurge on these at a nearby store, but they cut off selling the materials starting this year, perhaps people weren't digging it. I continued buying them through this website, http://allscript.com/.

They're really useful, I must say.

Above : Some of the amazing make-overs projects done within a tight budget. Pictures obtained from http://www.diyideas.com/

I strongly reckon to check out the website when ever you feel like redecorating :)

On My Own

2011-05-19T01:13:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile 'cuz I've been busy with preparing myself for college, which I will be officially enrolling next week! There are literally, endless checklists on my table now. I don't really have the ability to analyze these feelings of mine. Excited? Scared of what I might encounter there? A bit reluctant to leave the house and stay at the campus? Mashed up, I tell ya. Well, everyone's gone through or will go through this event of life anyway. Though, I'll miss my awesome high school friends. Freaking bad. It sure is hard to accept the fact that some of them are either studying overseas by end of the year, or locally all around Malaysia, makes it more difficult to catch up or something.

Perhaps, this is the life that all of our parents or elder siblings have been telling us about since we were kids. Maybe we won't see each other anymore after this. Maybe Allah planned something else for each of us, as we are clearly separated into different routes. Maybe we'll meet again, 5, 6 years from now? Maybe we'll bump into one another and have lunch. There's just so much to inhale as to accept this amount of pressure at only 18 years of age. This could be the moment we all have been waiting for, the turning point in our lives. We sit and complain about how things go differently for others, we cry for not receiving what we think we deserve to, but the fact that we haven't really realized about something. Allah is Great, He has plans for everyone. Those plans might turn out well at first, but it all depends on how you take it, endure it, and learn from it.

Everyone deserves what they have achieved now, although He has prepared us with completely dissimilar starting points for the journey that lies ahead. It may seem unfair, but that's just how it is. As soon we reach that juncture, Insyallah we'll find what truly defines us, what makes us happy the most. Not only to be successful, but satisfied and happy with the outcome.

May He guide us always to the most righteous path.

Better Left Unsaid

2011-05-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

It has been close to one month since I went to the Holy Land (Mecca, Madinah and Jeddah) with my family. For me to explain every little detail about my spiritual journey there, would be quite impossible and a bit too boastful? I don't know, all I know is I would like to share a few of the breathtaking significant elements you'll find there.
For Example :

1) The people

This man, you know through the look of his face, that he's been through a lot. And still looks pretty laid-back, selling tasbih, perfumes and stones.

2) The Food

Most of the pictures here are snapshots from my brother's awesome camera. So, tested a few miniature effects on the delicacies being shoved in our faces. And that is what I call, beautiful, real food.

3) Architecture, (that simply blows my mind all the time)

Masjid Nabawi, home to our Rasulullah and his family. Simply no words to describe the intricate details on every part of the place. Subhanallah.

Masjidil Haram, best way to depict the moment = Everything else just shuts down and it's only between you and Him, from then onward.

During the day, people flock there to perform Tawaf Sunah. It doesn't really matter when the sun is scorching above you when you have this chance to repent to Allah.

4) And the other little things :)

That's my nephew, clasping his fingers tightly onto his mother's hands while they touch the Holy Kaabah.

Mashallah

My all time favourite, the perfume. My father, sister and I couldn't live a day without these potions.

It has always been a dream of mine to meet them ever since I was little. They are my amazing relatives/cousins, who long ago resided there in Jeddah during my great grandfather's time. Long story, really. To say it's easy to meet them, not really, It's either they come here once a year or we go there, which is relatively hard as we can't just go there for a holiday. Umrah or Hajj must be inserted to part of the trip.

There are loads of photos I'd like to share, but safe to say, less is more.

The Uncanny

2011-05-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Out of boredom, I make these. Well, mainly they are for this saturday's party decoration. But I have wanted to try and make these flower pom poms quite a long time ago, partly due to Martha Stewart. She's amazing when it comes to this area. And so, it came down to a box of tissues and myself. All I needed was scissors.

Ma was yapping, "It's nice you're doing this, and not just sleep all day," Thanks for the motivation, Ma. Really. And it occurred to me, why not do a bunch of colorful ones? I even made a trip to a stationery store to buy crepe paper. Let me tell you something about these amazing material, they're not only cheap but they come in your desired colors. Able to fulfill your needs 24/7. For crafting, of course, they have this unexplainable magic touch that could turn a room into a celebration. At least, that is what I feel for them.

Just a few photos I managed to put up.

If you really want to know the step-by-step instruction on how to produce these gorgeous paper flowers, check these websites out.

1) Martha Stewart's

Or, If you have tonnes of unused fabrics at home, this could be useful.

2) OnceWed DIY

This Is Crap

2011-05-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

I would say crap as I've been living in this dungeon for such a long time. I don't think It would be possible to be always inspired to write. I'm sick of not doing anything.

People always say, you need the right moment to put down your thoughts into words. I say, bullshit, every moment of your life is an opportunity to write. It may be something that can be easily overlooked, but I personally think, it's crucial for us, not to mention myself, to WRITE. BLOG.

As I sat down on the couch, watching a documentary on Michael Buble's life during his tours, they showed a clip of a young man's mother courageously walked toward Michael on the stage, practically begging him to let her son sing. Amazing. I mean, you gotta be that crazy to put up a poker face and ask this amazing man, on live broadcast, to excuse a few moments and give her son a chance to strut his melody. Amazing stuff. The best part was, the boy could seriously sing. I guess, you gotta do what you gotta do to make it happen. To make your dream happen. Not to say that we all should do that, but let's be clear, who's stopping you anyway? :)

Popin Pete's

2011-02-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

First of all, I am in no way of being adorned towards this guy. After what he did to Rihanna, of course. To some, he's still an unforgivable f*cked up monster. In the music business, you go down to the gutter and fly back to the top instantly when you have a hit song on the radio again. It's that simple. Just like Sean Penn beating up Madonna, for all you know, people still love him for his remarkable acting performances.

I don't do this normally. I am forsooth and verily comfortable in discussing this personal matter of mine. Expediently, Chris Brown kind of inspired me to dance (A long time ago, actually). to secretly dance, of course. I may have encountered some people who have been generously offering their opinions on how I am always off beat. Not to lower my self-esteem, but I agree and I do agree also that I can work some moves. I've got to say it, I love to *clearing my throat* Dance. It's obviously significant to stumble in front of people and have them say incessant bad-talking right at your face. I just need to crack my shell and breathe in this whole facade. Though, I may have said it, and I wanna say it again that I can actually jiggle and swing a few awesome numbers.

It just so happens that everytime when I'm home alone, MTV Hits is up on the telly, and an undeniably catchy tune comes in my way, I just can't help but not to thump my feet on the ground.

I need to clearly testify that human beings have to express more than just what is.

Do me a favor, enlighten your eyes when the dance scenes come up. You will soon, fall in love.

Chucklesome

2011-02-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

And there she came, with her tripod and excessive amount of color she brought in her over-sized bag. To be honest, she never fails to exceed my expectations.

Personally, I love love these photos taken with Qeyla's camera. They were unique and translated with what she imagined the whole photo shoot theme would be like. She elaborated her awesome idea to me a few weeks ago on the phone. And this is what she came out with, as usual, awesomeness. Ain tagged along and contributed her quirky poses and beautiful flowy hair. Qeyla, the woman with the awesome photography skills paved her way into capturing images that were just meant-to-be. The shoot went without a hitch.

These are just some of the photos I am able to put out. To see more, check out Qeyla's blog, http://classickeyboard.blogspot.com/

That's Ain, Dee (Me) and Qeyla.

The Least Expected

2011-02-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, the one thing you least expect turns out to be a humbling experience. And quite joyful.
They are the cousins whom I've never met. The one weekend I thought would be better spent on TV and CityVille, never imagined I'd agree on a 2 and a half hours of road trip with Buya to Jerantut to attend a Majlis Tahlil. Getting to know them was lovely.

Spell Check

2011-01-24T04:19:00.000-08:00

In the Movie The Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg blogged, hacked, wrote codes and was drunk at the same time. It's amazing to see how they were able to portray the decisive character with exact perfection. They were also able to put out some memorable lines amidst the story line of deceit, trust and betrayal.

"You're not an asshole. You're just trying so hard to be one."

Quoted as The Movie of The Year, Won the freakin' Golden Globes, What else? The film is a knock-out. I had to watch it twice to fully understand it.

Oh you gotta love this one. Easy A. Fell in love with this movie as soon as the soundtrack, Change of Seasons began to roll. This movie is so awesome, I kept on repeating on the hilarious scenes. Subtle yet, Right in your face.

"FACEBOOK. 'I don't know what you generation's fascination with is documenting your every thought, but I can assure you they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an okay day and bought a coke zero at the gas station, RAISE THE ROOF." Who gives a rat's ass?'"

Epic. Even blogging about it makes me want to watch the whole movie all over again.

Another one that kept me intrigued, Black Swan. It was heavy. Heavy with remarkable talent, intensified pressure, and basically obsession in reaching the highest level of perfection. Bottom-line is that it's so good that it got Natalie Portman pregnant o.o

Crazy amazing thriller with a different twist.

Go watch all of 'em.

You Know What They Say

2011-01-17T00:12:00.000-08:00

Having braces on was a complete low point for me. Yes, even though I had it for a short time only, unlike some who had to go through 3 or 4 years of doomsdale. Made me feel as if my life was a joke, an undisputed one, nothing to achieve from it. Though I had a good time showing it off, like Chamillionaire always does on his every music video. Those days are gone now.

[On the line with Qeyla]

Qeyla : Deeeee! What am I supposed to do with my life? (Grunts with great despair)

Dee (Me) : Ya think I know what to do with mine?! Gahhh. (Bellows in pain of realizing the emptiness in own's life)

I love mornings. For me to have wasted countless beautiful mornings after all these years, it's sad. Sleep early, wake up early and Stick your face out of the window. Observe the slightly yellow-blueish sky. Amazing, it is. Serene. It just makes us feel better, more humane, if you'd spend some time appreciating all that's in front of you. It's easy to forget, it's easy to curse people when you want to. But you gotta give that a rest sometimes, true?

I Tend To Reminisce

2011-01-10T19:44:00.000-08:00

Brings me tears every time I think about it. The year 2010 was definitely a year to remember. Just as a reminder for myself on the awesome things I've done along the way.

Did a surprise birthday party for a friend.

Went to an awesome charitable unplugged event.

Decorated our Double Awesome Form 5 class.

Cheered for The Girl Guides' Kawad Team and handled a photo shoot at the same time with the Persada Crew.

Finished volunteering for 40 unforgettable hours at the zoo with buddies.

Completed my one and only Arts Folio for SPM.

Spray-painted, Covered it up, Respray-painted it again for another Form 5 Batch Photo shoot.

Made a 5-page spread covering all of my classmates to be featured on the upcoming Persada Magazine.

Paved my way through 3 and a half weeks of the dreadful SPM.

Had an awesome time during the class photo shoot with them Colorful people.

Went to Prom! Had a blast from A to Z.

Paid a visit at Ze guys' working place. Awesome job, Awesome pay.

Spent a few days in the beautiful island of Penang.

Felt the morning breeze of 31st of December, dug up a hole and planted our time capsule.

Experienced my first New Year fireworks with my spectacular friends.

It was a beautiful ending.

Pimples Start to Break Out

2011-01-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

Break even. The moment I started to realize that things last for a certain range of time, A short range of time, that is, I just didn't want to miss another minute of cherishing life. Yes, we talk bad about people, even behind our friends' backs. Also yes, we lie to our parents. Nothing major that could hurt them. As a matter of fact, we do it from time to time. Nature works that way. Humanity works that way.

You could blow your hair to add more volume to it, you could cloak the imperfections on your face with a bit of foundation, or you could register yourself into a 21-days-diet to shed off those flabs. But you're still you. I'm still me. That girl you see on the cover of the magazine is still who she is. People make judgments whenever they have the chance to. When someone walks down the street wearing multicolored poncho, or when someone with a disability asking for help to climb the stairs. Discernment.

I don't write a lot, and when I do, I give out all of the lines I've noted down in my mind. It's because I think a lot. I pretend to listen to people, when at the same time, I think about something else. About the abandoned building at the side of the road maybe, about how awesome it'd be if I knew how to talk Japanese, perhaps what would have happened if I were brought up in Hawaii and other insignificant stuff. Something I can't shove off.

Another thing on my mind, Persada. It's my school's magazine and it's out. Quite disappointed, to say the least about the cover. It went basically like this, I did 3 designs. Discussion after discussion and a lot of edits, came down to the final two. Then, the editors and I, powerless, when it has always been the principal's call to decide on which one. Unfair? I guess, it was just one of those sacrifice we had to make. The itsy bitsy details the board of teachers were concerned of. In the end, as the end usually goes, they chose technicalities over design.

So, I personally choose this one.

In More Ways Than One

2011-01-04T02:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when two unrelated things occur simultaneously at a time, you start to think that somehow maybe this is a sign. Either bad or good, you can't decide. Like when I flipped through the newspaper in the car that day, an advertisement regarding Medicine course for new students, somewhere in Europe appeared exactly when the radio started talking about those who are interested in enrolling into a Medicine School. I mean, That has got to be a bad sign, right? Twice. Maybe it meant something else.

Today is the 4th. One of my dear friends have, as to say, gone into the college world, while the other one will be flying to the ever-so-beautiful Scotland to also enroll. Guess what? They're both pursuing higher education in the field of Medicine. Sure, I believe that those who made the same choice should have tremendous heights of intelligence and not to forget, courage. And both of my dear friends own it. It takes determination, basically. Watch Grey's Anatomy, then you'll have enormous respect for doctors. It has always been a "WOW" moment whenever he or she decides to go straight into college or university after SPM ended.

I guess, maybe I was not destined to live a fast-paced life. Never had to work, never had to attend any part-time job interviews. Simple and easy, you might say, but a bit unpractical. Dull. Am trying my best to fill up my days with useful activities. Guess we'll see.

It's all up to me now.

Lock Down

2010-12-26T01:15:00.000-08:00

They make really funny expressions! Check It Out video is kind of awesome, and dare I say this, Nicki Minaj's rapping is out of this world.

Keep Writing

2010-12-25T07:44:00.001-08:00

Most people can talk, talk so brilliantly that people bow to them. Some can sing their hearts out, burst with such outstanding melody that you can't just help but have goosebumps. Few can actually think with great precision and are just simply, though sometimes annoyingly smart. You may never have to say anything, they lead the way naturally without being asked or through his wants and needs. As I opened up Google and searched for Quote of the Day, the one that stood out would have been this,

"To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone," Suzanne Gordon.

Every once in a while, I do this, I make time for myself to speak. Maybe not speak out, but formulate and write about what has been buried in my heart. What about a diary? I've tried a few times, and it never really took off. Screw people who think blogging is cliche these days. It just depends on what you write about and the authencity of your writing. Since I won't be spending my joyous post-spm life with anything, basically, I've decided on drenching myself in this wonderful book written by, Jessica Watson. Amazing she is, besides on her title, being the youngest person to sail solo around the world, no words could describe her confidence. Her guts. This would be a great read during the holidays, I thought, after a while of not touching any well-written books. Do check out her blog :

Jessica Watson's Blog

Talking about amazing personalities,

my all time favourite muse has always been MTV. Weird, it may seem. Seriously, give me 70 bucks and I'll talk all day long about MTV. Next year, which is in a few days, it will launch it's new image. Have a look!

MTV Upfront

MTV Upfront 2010 from POGO on Vimeo.

Someone's deciding whether or not to steal

2010-12-22T03:21:00.000-08:00

To be home from a long holiday, and find out that your home has been ransacked, is indeed, a wonderful dismal. Whoever who has had the guts to do so, may you forever rot in hell. I don't seek pity nor do I seek sympathy, but for this to happen is deeply heartrending. Oh, the feeling inside me, sad, confused, shocked, all wrapped up into one beautiful intention to potentially kill those who did it. Though it may be useless, even if i had the chance to do so. If, and if I could, I would do it, for my parents. Such disgrace, they never have to deserve. For those who might have experienced this, only we know how it scarred us. The scar, feeling terrified every now and then.

Hoping it may never have to haunt us anymore, hoping that the evil forces would soon disappear. I hope you feel the burning fire inside of you, slowly eating you up, every inch of your skin burning with scorching heat that you feel the guilt for the rest of your life even though I know it would be hard for you to. I do feel sick to my stomach at times, thinking about it. The day after, I still feel disgusted knowing that they have touched my precious stuff. The memories, everything.

But you know what, hope is good.

Fran Drescher and Chinos

2010-12-13T12:37:00.000-08:00

Who wouldn't remember the ever-so-charming Fran Drescher during the 90's? She starred in her own comedy show, The Nanny, produced by her ex-husband, Peter Marc Jacobson. Along with Mr. Sheffield and his three children, Nanny Fine brought timeless humor after another. The show was an instant hit, leaving it's mark for 6 whole years. Ever wondered where she is now? Fran scored her own daytime talk show on FOX which debuted on 26th of November. Guess we'll never have to miss listening to her unforgettable voice anymore. To be clear, she looks amazing, better than ever, though I'm a bit terrified that her show wouldn't get through the harsh ratings. She does have a loud voice which sometimes overpowers her guests. Let's just cross our fingers that her show would land it's international debut, so her fans, here on the other side of the world could watch her on TV again!

She was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and now a proud founder of Cancer Schmancer Movement. Support the foundation through this website, http://www.cancerschmancer.org/.

Now that I'll be spending the whole week in Penang, which adds up to the ultimate reason I should start shopping again.

A pair of brogues, perhaps? Some fashion critics made it clear a pair of brogues is a sure no-no, though majority seem to be having a go with it!

I'd say yes to them! No more excuses.

Green chinos, anyone?

Am loving how it goes with just about anything. Flats, brogues, and pumps!

Boyfriend Blazer

Blake Lively, rocking hers.

I've been wanting to purchase one, but have never found the right piece. Have my high hopes for Penang!

Seems like women really are into men's clothings style instead of theirs.

Inside Every Truth

2010-12-12T16:04:00.000-08:00

"In every dream, there is hope. When you stop dreaming, you stop hoping. And when you stop hoping, you start dying." -Cecil Running Bear, Just A Dream.

Whisking Some Tunes

2010-12-11T14:12:00.001-08:00

I always wondered If I am ever going to get better in baking. Seriously, I consider it to be a hard task and rewarding at times. Cooking sounds better. Just pick up an online recipe from Food Network or Martha, and you're good to go! Even if you mess up, you can be innovative and cover it up by adding a pinch of this and that, It will still taste as good, or even better.

Found a few peculiar yet stunning infrastructural designs on the webbie. I tend to get a bit hyperventilated when I come across such articles. For example, bus stops across the world :

You can just guess this one's from Germany. They're all about modernization. Anyone would've loved to stumble upon this along the whining highway.

On the other side of the world, the Japanese made it clear they are not to be known as robots and they just want to have fun with the little things. I would run around the bus stop if it were made here in Malaysia. It just sets that curiosity side of us to check it out and surely a great way to attract them monkeys or squirrels.

Now, that's just bottom-line amaze-balls. I'm in awe. They got tired of people vandalizing bus stops, and how do you solve it? Well, by growing a garden around it of course! Genius.

I couldn't help but not blog about this lil' kid either. I know this may sound cheesy for another tiny wheeny young boy to come across as this huge star beyond his years. But, he's 7 and he raps! Sounds annoying enough? Wait til' you see this video.

He rapped for Ryan, Katy, Taio Cruz, B.O.B and Hayley! Serious shiznit. Talking about babies these days.

Suddenly The Zits Go Away

2010-12-10T03:07:00.001-08:00

Probably the anxiety and nerves have finally left the building, resting in peace.

Many teenagers have this problem. Zits. Of course, they come and go. But when are they going to stop showing up again, saying "Hi, I happened to be in the neighbourhood and thought I could make your life even worse!"?

_____________________________________________________________________

Directions. What I need now is a simple map to guide me. Guide me to where I should be heading to, now that adulthood is floating nearby. Decisions. Making them is easy, regretting that you have made them is torturous. Yes, you can take Engineering or Doctorate as a major and have a good career out of it, but what if it isn't something you longed for, your passion. You tend to hide your true self when it comes to framing your life, selecting another side of it which offers better. Guess what? That just might be my whole map, different paths and finally spinning the tables around, and at one point, I stop. It definitely brings out the mature in me, having to think about it in a very serious way.

Some people lead a very easy life, no complications or what so ever. Everything is pin-pointed for them and all they have to do is follow them. Well, some just have no clue where to go. Even if they did their level best to achieve a certain goal, Lady Luck is just never on their side. Hard work and pain play a huge part in this plot, though in the end, they will survive and strive.

Most certainly, miracles don't come pouring down like water whenever you feel like opening the tap.

We just gotta get on with it, channel your fear and put out your confidence. Complexity shall pave its way for simplicity if we follow the rules.

A little bit confused.

Yesterday When You Were Young

2010-12-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

Hit me up if you think that top is simply amazing!

Here I am, laying motionless in bed with my mom still asleep next to me. It's 7.30 in the morning, as she just got back from the nearby mosque. Chances are, I'll either go to sleep until the evening or sort out all of my school books to be handed back to the school. Nahh, maybe later. The fact that i'm still in the lazy-post-spm mode.

Plans, plans and plans. I've been wanting to do a webbie or a blog with my bud, Qeys to showcase our crazy outrageous projects to the whole wide world. Probably, in the time being, we could use a little break and be couch potatoes for a while. To be far away from all of these and had to immerse myself in exam mode really hit me hard, the inspirations and creative elements didn't come through. The feeling was monotonous. Dull, for me to put it out. But, as anybody else would hope, I do hope it was all worth it. Enough blabbering about SPM shiznit.

The thought of me having to blog in peace, I could share some of the TV personalities that continue to impel me toward the love for arts itself, they are :

Joe Zee

He may be familiar to some of ya'll. A judge in Stylista and also a noted Creative Director of Elle Magazine. At times, he would show up on The City due to his appearance with Olivia Palermo in Elle. From a fashion show to another, I would say he has hardcore style and living the dream!

Nate Berkus

Amazing, amazing designer and also, Oprah's good friend. He has his own show, The Nate Berkus Show, basically about Painting DIYs and useful design guides. He continues to leave me in awe with his suave and high-end makeovers. You gotta love this guy.

Much Love.

Through The Telescope

2010-12-09T12:10:00.001-08:00

Now I'm seeing it all in a new perspective.

Travel, Have fun and Blog.

Yet to know what to blog about. This week's been all about goodbyes. Really. Those who finished SPM were in tearful moments as we hugged each other and laughed together for the last time. It was one of those moments where I could not suck in the reality until I got home and break into tears. As we said our Tatas to the exam hall, my buddy Ain took some photos. Photos that should be kept in all of our albums till we're 50 and decided to look back on them.

I'll miss school life, to be honest. I don't know about ya'll, though.

Everybody's Changing

2010-12-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

So little time. So much of a new stage of life.

I've finally finished the most dreadful, sickening, distasteful, inauspicious exam any Malaysian student have to face in their 17 years of education, SPM. Almost, to say the least. i vowed to myself that I would stay in touch with my blog after it ended. One more paper left, Arts. You may understated the fact that Arts is bloody easy, Pfffft. Telling you the truth, It ain't. It ain't easy. I have to work my butts off for this one, the final one.

I have to make it work.

Now that I have the time to sit and think about how am I to spend my 3 months of holiday, I feel a bit overwhelmed. Stepping out of school life is definitely easy, but walking away from it is heartrending. The familiar faces I see every single day at school would soon disappear, going seperate ways and day by day, we will forget about each other. Little by little. Somehow and somewhat, until the day of the SPM results come out. Soon, that would be one of the most nerve-racking moments in our lives, lads. Prepare yourselves for it. But let's have fun for now, shall we?

To the bed, I shall make my way.

Sunday Gloom

2010-03-21T01:15:00.000-07:00

MOTOR / AMBIENT REEL from KU-SCHNEIDER on Vimeo.

Thought that video is really cool that I had to post it. It would be so cool if they'd put this as an ad on MTV!

The sound of the raindrops begin to disappear for now. Whenever the weather topic is brought up in conversations, people seem to agree that it has tremendously changed. Imbalanced in a way that it is always too hot even when the rain pays us a visit at times. Too hot during the day that I'd prefer staying at home. Even too hot during the night because the wind is barely there. Maybe it's true that the end is near. It's hard to conclude nor say anything about it. We all get scared. We all pretend not to hear and see.

Well at least there are shows like Glee and Ugly Betty to cheer up the world. On the scale of 1 to 10, both had exceeded 10 so far from my perspective. It's a bummer that Ugly Betty's actually been cancelled for good. As for now, i would just have to wait for Season 4 to be aired in Malaysia and clinging myself to Glee at the same time. These two shows definitely have widened my eyes to see the world in a different way. A much happier and positive way, that is.

"Being an assistant is boot camp, being an editor is war," -Wilhelmina Slater.

A sense of Relief

2010-03-21T00:48:00.000-07:00

Holidays sure are good for us, who dwell within the pain of facing the excruciating pre-SPM life.

The pressure is on, I tell you. It's not a rat race, It's not a marathon, it's a mount climb to reach the top.

The road to complete five times of volunteering at the zoo has ended, finally. Thanks to the one-week holiday, Ain, Eli, Anis and I have gone through feeding the bears with honey-coated bread, cleaning up the oh-so-strange Capy Bara's place, getting stuck on the roof of the reptile's museum and drenched in rain for following the unreliable zookeeper, picking up the elephants' and giraffes' poops, preparing food for the birds, just name it! The once-a-crazy-thought of us dreaming of having encounters with the animals has now become a reality and we even received certificates of honour for doing so. It's crazy when I think back, the innocent look on our faces the first time we got there and exchanging goodbyes with the psychedelic parrots the fifth time we volunteered.

Eli on the other hand, missed one out of the 5 times due to her knee injury, and so I have promised to join her next time :) Having said that, Eli has been getting negative feedbacks from strangers, especially after the Melawati Unplugged event. It sickens me to actually think that there are wimps out there that have the guts to diss my buddy. I mean c'mon, learn to unwind a little if you hate someone so much. Don't say bad stuff about them, 'Cuz they don't really come in handy if you're trying to bring them down. It's just plain dumb, that's all.

Just like Fahim said,
"Justin Bieber is a jeese mccartney wannabe except shorter with nick jonas's voice before puberty,"

Enough Of Idle Thinking

2010-03-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

I don't have the exact words to start over, But the fact stays the way it is, this is the only way to begin. For the Gazillionth time.

Currently, Am lost in the song Emotions by Destiny's Child. Sounds pretty sad, eh? Months of ignoring my blog, Acting all shady and feeling all guilty when visiting others' blogs, I finally had that moment where I felt so empty and lifeless. The need to start over was rising rapidly as I wander around the house and basically not doing anything useful. Especially during the holidays. Slothful, I am right now. You see, I had to fight the laziness living inside me, this huge inertia. It takes time though, a lot of 'em. Once you've paused doing your writings on your blog, It's really hard to press that resume button once again.

Sooooo, I might as well stick myself on this track and never let go. It's worth a try, to say the least.

Taking the Stage Is coming back on MTV really soon! WOO!

My Dear Friends,

2009-12-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I had to blog about it. Particularly for Ain!

Not knowing how a trip to a wedding would turn out, I certainly found myself stuck between another long, boring day and sweaty palms. The blazing hot sun clearly didn't help. I hate going to weddings and I will always loathe them. It's in my nature to dislike how absurd weddings are to be held during the afternoon, despite of the unpredictable weather soaring above us.

Amidst seeing myself melting inside the car, my eyes flicked over the trees standing tall beside the road and discovered this huge billboard. I had myself thinking, "WAIT, IS THAT US?". Yes, it was us. Obviously, I didn't have the time to slide my camera from my bag. Hyperventilated. Panting as if I was running for my life. The first thing I did was screaming for 15 seconds, then I headed for my phone and texted Ain.

Mom said, we should get paid for that!

And another thing, "Disiplin Tangga Kejayaan? For us, Melawatians? Yeah Sure."

A Mortal, Inspired.

2009-12-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

-Deleted From The Real World

Mike Perry, Mika and Boooooom.

2009-12-02T05:49:00.000-08:00

Mika - Rain from Roland Baldwin on Vimeo.

I Want To Take Part

2009-11-25T04:25:00.000-08:00

Just some of the amazing websites that I found, the ones that spell art in a very unique dimension.

Creativity may be just another word in the dictionary, but these guys have taken it to whole new level and are very serious in what they do. To splash a bit of colour to the world.

http://www.lecreativesweatshop.com/

Wild Things' Forts Project is one of those awesome projects that only few participate and sacrifice their time to sweep away the stress and just build their own kingdom. In anyway they want to.

http://www.booooooom.com/

Long Term Memory

2009-11-25T03:59:00.000-08:00

Looks like everyone is in their state of rest, cruising down shopping malls and stuffing theirselves with food in front of the television. Including me. I really didn't have that thought where I would plan great activities during the holidays. It just seemed uncertain, feeling a bit irresolute of what I might do. By the time the school bell rang, noting that it was the last day of school, blobs of ideas came across my mind. Ideas that tell me what to do, how to have fun and just simply do stuffs.

It had become a habit that I would do something that I didn't plan at all, such as wrapping the remote control with a yellow paper. Just so I could get a better sleep.

It's insane.

Friends? The only way to communicate with them is through Facebook! and That's sad.
Really sad. I need to hang out. I need to be with my friends. I need to do wacky stuffs with them.
It's sickening to look back and all you realise this whole time is that time, time flew so fast. The feeling about this whole situation makes me feel so alone, tied up in an empty closet.

Baking Session With Eli

2009-11-12T07:15:00.000-08:00

Time to bake some cake! Qeyla and I spent the evening at Eli's to complete our project. The project that we call, Baking!

Got a bit distracted by her cats. Look at those exotic eyes! How could you ever resist them.

Then, it was all work and no play. Qeys dropped some chocolate powder on me. Good Thing I wore white pants huh. Haha, well it was just damn funny alright. Eli gave us a few tips there on how to bake.God, She reminds me of Bree. Only, she's just a bit more mad.

Out you go the icing. Spread over the lovely brownies we made. It was truly a magical moment!

After all the sugar consumption, we went cuckoo for a while.

WE WERE BORED, that's all.

Things I Forgot To Note Down

2009-11-12T06:12:00.000-08:00

Open House after Open House after Open House. People tend to spend their weekends by putting up an event called, Rumah Terbuka during the days of Syawal. But, that was well, a month ago. So, I hereby would like to showcase some of the photos I took [Without me in it], that displays the Rumah Terbuka-s I have attended and my beautiful friends.

This was when Syahirah held one at her apartment. The view by the swimming pool was astounding. Not to mention, my three gorgeous ladies who brightened the whole picture.

Yang did hers at her townhouse, simply amazing. She welcomed us with her huge smile, sparkling in her Baju Kurung. Maddy, Syira and Quia went on a hunt with me a while after. We couldn't risk not taking photos at the area. Here they are, getting ready with a shot. Handbags, Check! Make-up, Check!

Say Cheese!

Everything was perfect in the end.

Too Heavy

2009-11-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

I AM BLOGGING.

I AM BL-L-L-OG-G-GING, YEAH.

BLOG YOUR HEADS OFF!

Sue Doeksen

2009-10-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

Entitled to Be One of A Kind

2009-10-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

The main reason I'm writing this post is that I want to showcase someone's room. This post will expose parts of her ever-so-creative room but unfortunately, you will witness only 5 precious photos I took while I made my first debut at his/her house. That someone won't let me identify who he/she is, But I'm sure you'll know whose room is this by the end of this post. Just look a little bit closer, and you're one step closer to reveal who he/she is!
*Hint : She just couldn't sit still :\

Well, there was one picture that consisted of mostly me with the colourful scarf. It was supposed to showcase the turqoise-brown wall behind me, I thought it was so cool that I ended up covering the beauty of it. Sorry Folks.

Signing Is As A New Person

2009-10-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

The feeling of getting responds from the people you admire is indeed wonderful. I just found out that all I need to do is to branch out, ask for advice and get more knowledge. I recently sent an e-mail to a couple of designers in the U.S., not expecting they'd send back a reply. Guess what? They Did! It's Crazy!

I know ya'll won't give a shit about me asking some random designers what life would be like as one or et cetera. These people are actually nice. If you even care what I'm crapping about, Check out their websites and amazing products that they've designed.

http://cargocollective.com/jpdes && http://www.ljohnsondesign.com/

The Story of The Daughter of Puan Tat

2009-10-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

Decided to bring some of my mom's Tarts to class today. Crawling up the stairs struck an unusual feeling after 2 weeks of pure joy and sudden blank of not revising anything. I met the friendly yet creepy receptionist and gave him a medium-sized jar filled with nothing but tarts. My petite Uncle Sham used to joke around about my mom's tarts, he would call her up and say, "Puan Tat, I want lapan tat haa for raya this year, remember, Lapan Tat!" Yeah, Get it?

I was the only girl who came. My dear Ustaz always has something to say. It didn't matter if he made me all sleepy. He could talk about the Romans and how Turkey got its name to beautiful ancient Arabian Nights stories. And you can ask him stupid questions and he'll interpret his answers and make it so sensible and crystal clear to us. His expositions just rises the level of my admiration towards him. The things that I've never expected to learn, were learnt through his wise words. Four hours spent on revising, clunching my fists tight throughout the freezing temperature, staring at wide blank wall at the front everytime someone asks a question and stuffing my tummy with Lemang and Rendang.

Though the day started with a misty rain accompanied with the beautiful breeze, that evening was filled with nothing but the blazing hot sun above us as we made our way to my aunt's house, Buya's side. The traffic jam made my parents go cuckoo while I danced and sang all the way to Goombay songs as I don't really see why we have to stress about traffic jams! It's the best time to get your groove on because you get tune up any types of radio stations and do crazy stunts in the car! From Good Girls Gone Bad to Unbreak My Heart, I sreamed my lungs out, no one would hear my screeching voice. It was just me dancing to the beat and my parents, giving that Look of Half-Dead Half-Alive.

I was surprised to know that my aunt is F'ing fluent in Arabic Language. My dad couldn't even remember a single word and she, she can speak like, Oh My. Damn Cool! She even plants Roselles. The day went on with us three spending time at my brother's house, eating my sister-in-law's delicious Spaghetti and blowing bubbles with Zafri!

Check This Out.

2009-09-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

In Love with this Webbie at the moment.

As I look through, I stumbled upon some cool stuffs! Wish they sell items like these in Malaysia!

That's a Dirty dirty Diary, alright.

A Colouring Book!

Retro pouches!

From Colourful Lines To One Stunning Design

2009-09-24T05:12:00.000-07:00

HE is one true Unique person. Look at all the mess in his studio! He keeps strange objects and live a life full of curiosity.

My Life Continues Inching Along

2009-09-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

This is Quia. I was just amazed by her pose when I came across the original picture in my camera. For someone who wears scarf and covers her Aurah, she really can bring out the beautiful side of Muslim women. I just had to brag about her. Hah, she must be really proud.
Continue to rock on, honey!

Untold Stories

2009-09-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

So what happened this entire week?

15th of September

Quite a memorable day, for Ain of course. It was her 16th Birthday! I am extremely proud of her, in achieving this level, and also putting aside her addiction towards the number 15, she is now a new and fully matured human being. As If! Nahh, she has been the greatest friend ever, not to mention, the craziest. Yet, the smartest bitch. Don't get offended, I love you from the bottom of my heart. When are you going to do your big birthday bash? And finding your first REAL lover? No, I'm not talking about Amal. You two have got to throw that whole lesbian thingy away, Ain needs a true man on her side.

Happy 16th Birthday, Ain!

The day went on as I approached myself to my Chemistry tuition class. As usual, I get all nervous getting inside the class which was packed with students I didn't really recognise. I chose not to look around and see their faces, I just headed straight to one of the empty chairs that my eyes came across. Regarding of my short-sightedness, I had to be aware of the surroundings if someone I know smiled at me or gave me a sign to sit next to her. Or I'll just embarass myself by squinting my eyes like an old grandma, searching for that person from the distant. And when the class had almost ended, I saw Quia dashing in her red Baju Kurung and her friend, Farah by her side. I asked her, where she would go with such glamourous attire. She told me that our school was holding an event, Ihya' Ramadhan and immediately I made up my mind on that very spot, that I would come along too.

And there I was, finding myself standing in the school hall, full of Muslims with multicoloured Baju Kurung and Baju Melayu. When I took a glance outside, I saw Quia and the Gang making their way towards the hall. We sort of felt unwanted there, but to tell you the truth, we had a blast! Snapping photos, and had tons of stupid jokes with Zana. To tell you the truth, she had never failed to make me laugh since the day we became friends, despite of all the drama and controversies. She is still the same! As the day turned to night, I decided to go for Tarawikh instead after Maghrib. And so, Quia, Zana and Syira all of them tagged along.

Boyy, 15th of September surprised me with a lot of unexpected events. But it was damn fun!

16th of September

Mostly consists of me, not going to school. The reason? Shopping. Excuse you, I haven't gone on a real shopping since last 6 months. Now, that's a good reason for not attending school. At least I got better things to do than just lazying around in class. Eventhough I missed one Physics experiment.

17th of September

Woke up for Subuh, and told myself "Nahhhh, I don't have to go to school today right? Absolutely right,". Okay, so I guess the whole me-not-going-to-school has gone a bit too far. Well guess what, school never deterred itself from getting my ass to its compound. I had to go to school that evening, Cikgu Erin even called me to help her finish the whole Persada shit. I had to spend half of my precious day in school, doing nothing but staring in front of my laptop! Gah, Thank God Athira and Maselza were there, and there was an SLR too. As I got bored, I invaded the camera, just by myself. Seconds, Minutes, even Hours have passed by and so It was time to go home.

Those three days have definitely been the longest three days I've ever had in my entire life.

Rain On Sunday

2009-09-13T01:47:00.000-07:00

Have you thrown away your garbage today?

I don't see, I observe.

2009-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

Peter Nidzgorski

Check out the website : http://www.oncewed.com/
Once you've seen the photos, you'll feel like getting married the next day.

A Little reminder on the way.

Give A Little Space

2009-09-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day. The air was humid and the sky was covered with lovely cotton clouds. It was not like any other usual Saturday I had, where I would get all worried and anxious before going to my Arabic Class. But for some reason, today was much more peaceful than ever. People say, Ramadhan is the most serene month, compared to others. I guess that's true, No traffic jams, restaurants closed, Well partly during the day.

Eid is just around the corner, and I still can't accept that as I haven't really enjoyed Ramadhan that much. I abhor this feeling, Its makes me feel so small and timid. As for now, I'm just trying to fill up the days left before Eid with Tarawikh, though I have to admit that I was never determined to go for Tarawikh before. Just when Aiman insulted me for not going to the mosque eventhough I was free, I felt so Jahil because I didn't use the opportunities that were given. All I had to do was to give a little room for extra Ibadah, that's all.

Walking Down Memory Lane

2009-09-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yup, those are my cuckoo brothers. They look like demons camouflaged with oh-so-angelic faces. The thought of blogging about them is pretty unusual, and not having the last 15 years of my life spent with them. Now that they have grown up and have seperate lives makes it much harder for us to have The Brother-Sister Bond. Well, that is just Too Bad, huh. Being the last child and having huge gaps with my other siblings ain't that fun, well minus the full attention given by Moi Parents.

I always wonder what the future might hold for us, will we still keep in touch when they're gone? I know, that at some point, we'll have that awkward moment where we would reluctantly hug each other. Just because we never had that bond.

It tears me apart sometimes.

GAH.

I Will Grow Through This Pain

2009-09-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

It's crazy sometimes, to think that no matter how happy your life is, things will just fall apart anytime. Anytime, that you start feeling guilty and disgusted with your own self. Smiling blankly and feeling empty. I hate being emo, I mean, Who Does? It's just a stupid feeling that revolves around you, which leaves nothing but pain and misery. I guess everything can get messed up and out of control sometimes.

Leaving that aside, I went to TGIF with my buds for a Buka Puasa Gathering. It was one of the best moments I've ever had with them, so much joy and happiness. I'm not going to babble all about it as Aiman already did. Just check out Ze' Pictures down there! Flickr can be an ass sometimes, so I had to make a full slideshow which consists of every picture in my photostream. So, you can just have a look at the TGIF pictures only.

The Undisputed Facts

2009-08-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

My one week holiday has rather turned more boring than ever, not to mention, that I had to attend tuition classes every single day. What the heck? So, I texted Qeyla, asking whether she would be interested in coming over to my house and do a little bit of artsy fartsy stuffs. And she Agreed! Ilaina and Ain joined in the fun too. Clueless of what we might do to fill the day, we went straight to nearest park, or should I say a court. The scorching hot sun above us couldn't stop shining through our skin, you can just imagine how noisy we were.

Nonetheless, moments after we arrived, the clouds started rolling in and covered us from the blazing sun. Without wasting our time, we began doing some random stuffs like playing with colourful blocks that Qeyla had brought and snapping photos with my canvas. Ain was pumped as she started skipping and skipping and skipping, non stop. We were kind of like invaded the whole court, all by ourselves, regardless of what the passers by may think of us. The Grafitti Wall, of course, was ours for the day. We played with colourful popsicle sticks, lying on the floor, getting amazed by the wonderful grafitti work and just gazed upon the blue sky.

The next thing you know, raindrops started falling from the sky. Though it didn't really rain heavily, we knew we had to go back home. The sky turned grey, it's a good thing we brought umbrellas. So, to home we went. But, one thing for sure, they have really defined my day (:

Melawati Live

2009-08-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Lovely Bones, Gahh.

2009-08-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

Can't wait. Oh My. Breathe.

I was in love with this book 2 years ago. And now, the movie is coming out soon!

Must . Watch .

Ramadhan Comes.

2009-08-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

From Lord Of The Rings,

Merry : Whose side are you on?

TreeBeard Ent : SIDE? I am on nobody's side. Nobody's on my side!

Ramadhan is finally here. And a one-week school holiday too! The first day of Ramadhan came with a slight misty rain, which left the atmosphere just so clear and clean. The peaceful ambience is so beautiful that there are no other particular words for me to describe it.

My saturday went on with me going to my usual Arabic Class at 10 o 'clock. Ustaz gave a little talk about Ramadhan. He talked with passion, surrounding the beauty of this blessed month. Tarawih, Sahur, Everything. It was all about Using every moment to cleanse yourself. Once I looked back, I realised how filthy I was, covered with sins. I didn't try hard enough to fulfil what every Muslim should everyday. It was the part that perfection was never ours, leaving us with guilt and scars of deformity.

There is also something about Ramadhan that makes everything so peaceful, regardless of the noisy fireworks carried out by those brainless kids. Peaceful as in moments of silence where people stop talking too much and just keeping it to themselves. Peaceful as in people trying to get the best out of themselves to show their good sides. It's just a beautiful thing to look at.

Just As You Thought You've Seen It All

2009-08-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

BIG MAMA DEE says:
just cherish every moment
live for the moment, meera (:

BIG MAMA DEE says:
dont have regrets
MRAA says:
it feels like yesterday je i ddk next to u kt class, ckp2 mcm aliens
MRAA says:
but actually tu bila dee, last year tahu!
ha, see. laju je.
BIG MAMA DEE says:
what to do, time flies , who are we to control
MRAA says:
tu ah
BIG MAMA DEE says:
babi lah, dah lah lagu kat tv sdih gila
MRAA says:
so mcm we have to be prepare je lah kn for the future
BIG MAMA DEE says:
yeah,
MRAA says:
i only hv a year with people around me
pastu, tiba2 semua org gone.
sucks oh!
BIG MAMA DEE says:
the next thing u know, ure all alone
MRAA says:
sedihnya oh
sumpah rasa nk nangis!
BIG MAMA DEE says:
dealing with ur path
MRAA says:
mcm u dah pergi sana, ain pergi situ, tinot manatah

Have you ever felt this feeling of despair deep down when you're enjoying the time of your life with your homies? Or even reflected on where your future might lead you? It is as if your heart just got poked and deflated down to the bottom of your stomach, every inch of your memory span just began oozing and every part of your body started having goosebumps. I had a chat with Meera that day, spilling out our fears of facing the ugly truth. That we would eventually, grow up and go seperate ways, trailing each and every step to fulfil our dreams. Meera kept mentioning of how lonely and hollow she'd feel after finishing highschool, leaving your savoir faire and precious moments which have been carved along the way. It sucks to even think about it.

Retiring from your own teenage life would be one of those tragic steps to encounter, there's no doubt about that. It's like when you stumble upon your old baby polaroid pictures and to suddenly realize that you're already leaving for college! OH how dramatic it would be. Just to witness your friends exchanging Good Byes and Good Lucks to each other, weeping and hugging. Then, there comes the urge to say your last few words to your old flame or your first crush, though the nervousness never stops clinging by. You just had to. "Never Have Regrets," wisphering to yourself. Remorse is not what your 5 years of having fun and studying hard are for, Contentment is.

But at the end of the day, all that matters most is to just live for the moments you have left. Keep your good memories treasured and harbor every film of inexpressible and unforgettable events you had with your loved ones. Sigh.

Homeworks, Undone.

2009-08-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Goal : To save enough money for Lim Kok Wing, which is truly Impossible.

State of mind : Whirled in confusion.

*Wish List : Corel® Painter™ Essentials 4.

Ramadhan is around the corner, and I still have 8 days to re-fast for my previous years. Life is indeed, cruel. Blame it on me too, I am the one who loves to procrastinate.

Starting to think that Science is not what I've been aiming for. All the wasted time spent on such unrelated subjects. Freedom is, what I'm looking for.

Some Things You Don't Realize

2009-08-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

So last night was totally not how I expected It would be. Celebrated my sister's birthday at some Damascus Restaurant that night. The thought of maybe she would bring her boyfriend along, made me all nervous. It was supposed to be her day, but complications tend to rise even higher. My cantankerous dad could'nt deal with situations like these, especially when his daughter is having a fling with someone from a different religion. Mom warned me earlier that If tonight doesn't go that well between the two of them, everything would be so damn awkward. And that would be no fun at all!

As the night went on, I could tell he was nervy and perturbed. I met him a few times before, and he was such a well-mannered man, to tell you the truth. Compared to my wild and high-spirited sister, he tried his best to be as gentle and communicative towards my parents. Though the ambience was stiff at first, but we got along as moments passed by. My dad even backed him up when I asked him how old he was. "Age is nothing but a number," My dad stated. He was reluctant to spit it out, because he knew that I knew he was much older than my sister. I just wanted to see his reaction, that's all. To foresee my dad accepting him as part of us would be difficult, but I do hope he would eventually understands. For Goodness' Sake, love is blind. You can't force it as it comes naturally.

Seeing my sister happier than ever lifts me up. To witness someone cherishing his or her moments with their beloved just makes you smile, don't you agree? I mean, Only God knows if they were really meant to be. Just live for the moment. While you have the chance to.

Set Me Free, Leave Me Be

2009-08-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

Just as though the urge to blog surrounds me, I felt that it has been ages ever since I last blogged. Seriously, the constant turmoil of dealing with exams, projects and assignments hasn't yet cooled down. Nevermind about that, the thought of this week's chaos brought me to a level of excitement, Talking about the dissecting of the fugly little frogs and cute white mice, also singing along to the rythm of the guitar played by some of Ze' Classmates. Such crazy humans. Sadly, the forgetful side of me took over as I left my camera back home. But that deter me not, I brought it the next day to capture some of our unusual moments in class.

The way Qeyla expresses herself. And the way she thinks she can rule the world.

And there goes Dona, stopping by to pay us a visit. Plus, Maddy and Yang having vain moments with my camera.

Chop chop, Physics was, entirely and wonderfully boring. It totally brought me to a state of being weary and lack of interest. So, I asked Ain to model a bit for me. And, that's just about it.

Merging The Colours.

2009-06-25T04:19:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to do an artwork of smokey effect! You can just click on the image to see it clearer. School seemed longer than I thought today. It was a half day of school for me, because I went for a dentist appointment, which somehow, rotated into something unpleasant. The thought of having a jaw operation really scared the hell out of me. The moment the dentist explained, I went completely breathless. The fact that I have waited for more than 4 years to wear braces, this situation really sucked all the inner joy and turned me into a slightly crackbrained person. It just couldn't get any worse, right?

Ilaina came over to my house after school. We made a desicion to finish up the design of the flyers. But, we somehow wasted most of our time just by making stupid jokes and checking out cupcake decorations on Martha Stewart's webbie. She has this somekind of a severe aura that could make me laugh all the time. It's just so contagious. Not to worry, we managed to get it done anyway despite of Ilaina's obvious boredom and my shit stuck at my rectum.

In one way or another, I do still have to finish up BM homework by tomorrow and the Persada tags by God knows when.

How Do Some People Get So Untimingly Creative?

2009-06-24T10:01:00.001-07:00

I should be doing my Physics report, but as though suddenly my blog seems to attract my attention more. So, today Qeyla gave me this wonderful piece of card with an ice cream stick on it. She willingly said that she would do this one card about the environment for me. Ain't she just sweet, people? I on the other hand, thought of doing one for her too as I felt a slight guilt for not doing something in response for her kind act.

Will be making my way to the horrifying dentist clinic tomorrow. It's not really that terrifying, the nurses are just wasting my time, that's all. As a matter of fact, they tend to be uncivilised and cuckoo everytime I pay them a visit. In other words. they are just being a pain in the ass, except for the dentist, of course. She's well-mannered, unlike those so-called nurses. On the contrary, I do still have to go to school tomorrow. What a suck up.

I have always felt this doubt or as they call it, uncertainty of my own siblings. What are they doing right at this moment? Or How are they feeling? Because the gap between me and them is way far than you would imagine. And I am stranded all alone. Some would nag to have a very annoying bigger brother or sister living under the same roof and having to see their faces every single day, hoping that they would get out of the house as soon as possible. But to me, having a chance to meet them would be the most joyful day, though I still hide the fact that I do miss them. We have never partaken a close bond with each other, and even if there were, it would have been awkward. If I were to receive the chance to wish for something, it would be a day for the four of us to finally sit down together and talk about each other's lives all day long.

*Gahh, switching gears, would it be possible if a bunch of Form 4 students who have a handful of high hopes and dreams to raise awareness to the community about how we can help and cure the helpless Earth?

The question remains answerless.

So, Everything Is Fine.

2009-06-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

Despite of the AH1N1 spreading around across the globe, I am still wandering, bewildered of my surroundings. The fact that I haven't been blogging for quite a while, I'm pretty clueless of what to blog about. It's kind of depressing, though.

Since we are trying our level best to make MELAWATI LIVE happen, I would be lying if we did not have our ups and downs along the way. For now, Teacher Azwani is trying her best to convince the strict lady, Puan Rohana to sign the approval of this event. I would implore to God everyday that this would be our chance to make it through and to actually make it happen, as for Ilaina has been working her butt off just for this. Also, Ilaina agreed to change the theme of our current flyer. I felt so intimidated as I saw the Prom Night's flyer. Gosh, Athirah is really good at Graphics.

For some reason, Nerina Pallot caught my attention for the last few weeks. Her song, Sophia has been replaying on and on in my head. Not to mention, Sara Bareilles. She is marvellous! Her Love Song sucks though, It never really came to me that Love Song should be her number one song. Gravity is way, way better. I salute to anyone who could play the piano. As a matter of fact, Hannah Soh, who lives behind my house, plays her piano so well that sometimes it gives me goosebumps. Simply wonderful, nothing less, nothing more. Though she might get creeped out to know that someone actually adores her good piano skills, I need not care about that as I would just express my thoughts anyway.

Some people are just amazing that you don't even notice their colourfully creative minds. Would'nt it be wonderful if our world is led by creative people, instead of a bunch of nerdy scientists and sick politicians? Okay, that might sound a bit harsh. But it would be miraculous if we could decorate the world with murals of peace and harmony, also with decoupage crafts of freedom and equality for all.

Maybe some things are just meant to be the way they are.

To Raise Awareness And Support

2009-06-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

For the time being, am currently working on an event which was originally Ilaina's Idea. Happy to say that it's going on smoothly, except for the confirmation from our teacher. I would just pray that it will end up well soon.

The real deal about the whole charity event ;

Ilaina has come up with an idea of raising money for underprivileged kids in Taman Melawati, in a way that we would hold an event where we showcase local talents at the same time too. Everything is in progress for now.

It would be wonderful if you guys can drop by and lend us a hand for this event (:

Andy Warhol Is A Genius

2009-06-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Trip to The Zoo with the Girls was awesomely awesome! Feelings that could not be described, of course. I would not waste my precious time writing about the whole experience as my two dear friends, Anis and Ilaina have already explained enough, with full details. Heh, I love you guys, no matter what (: Minus the Uuu guy part. Though it was a complete hilarity and mirth. Also, pretty embarassing at the same time. He must have thought of how insolent I was. Well, WhoTF cares? It was absolutely one of the happiest days I've ever had with the girls.

I'm going to stay up late tonight, clueless of what I might do besides blogging. Today went stupidly wrong and somehow got better along the way. Finally got my new lower jaw braces done. It's like hell all over again. Ulcers here and there, what d'ya expect? I can't even close my mouth. Guess I just have to live with it for another couple of years, maybe. Shuckks, Pain, Pain and more Pain. Moi Mama and I sort of made a pact or some sort of an agreement to paint the kitchen tomorrow. And, Ehem throw away some stuffs. Hope It will go well.

Casting My Fears Aside

2009-05-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a while, yes. More than two weeks, I guess. My deepest apologies to you, my dear bloggie. Tests have gone by, and now the holidays are here to heal our pain! The freaking pain in the ass of studying everyday, every night, well practically every day. Give us a break, for God's sake. Now, Imma blog everyday, no matter what. So, let's see what I've been up to for the past 4 weeks. Hmmph Hmm,

Anugerah Cemerlang 2008, Baby!

I know, I know, It's a bit too late huh? Well, who gives a damn. After all, we had a blast! Except for the senseless and inhumanitarian teachers who could not afford to give us money [MONEY] rather than a trophy!

_______________________________________________________________

Next, Langkawi. I without any care or whatsoever, enjoyed my last days before being prosecuted with 'Ze Mid Year Examination. At least it was worth the hardwork and sweat, though I thought it would be a bore to go to Langkawi. And Walla!

Had fun times with this little sneaky boy. He was fun to be with, but scary to mess with. Seriously.
____________________________________________________________________

Up the mountains we went, and the deep blue ocean we have crossed. The Islands we have discovered, and the sandcastles we built. It was truly worth it.

Wait, That was not The End.

The next week came with crammed schedules of scrutinizing the pages of knowledge. WTF? It was hell-ish, though I had to be scrupulous throughout the two whole weeks. The blood pressure heightened, sleepless nights of last minute revision, and the best part of all, shouldering all of them all on my own. It was as if another onslaught of avalanche was about to occur. Between bouts of studying, I thought of the upcoming holidays that would heal the constant turmoil in my mind. Well, I bet all of us thought of that. 'Amal ( Hope in Arabic) that my endeavors would pay off.

Now that the days of temporary freedom are finally here, I am currently filling them all up with countless projects of Spring Cleaning! Yes! Spring Cleaning! I just love that phrase. It defines stress-relief, victory and joy! Exactly, I release the tension I have been carrying by cleaning up the house. It's my way of putting aside my cluttered mind and just, simply clean the house. My Mom doesn't get it too. The whole process just unravels the real me.

Let's see what else that could cheer me up;

*The chance for me to conquer the laptop and My baby Bamboo. Alllriggghhhtt.

*Shopping at IKEA, since I only go there once a year, so might as well live it to the fullest! :D

*Volunteering at the National Zoo with the girls, Thanks to Anis (:

*Planning excursions with me amigos, not sure yet when or what or why.

And so on and so forth.

Constant Fidelity

2009-04-23T03:16:00.000-07:00

I just have a feeling that I'm going to write a very long post this time (:

I don't live in a big house nor do I have two powerfully rich parents. I go to school every single day without having the slightest clue of what would happen next. With my pair of worn out shoes and my black bagpack, I am all set to go. I have two retiree buddies who would send me to school willingly regardless of thinking about their burden they have to carry just by looking after this unrealiable teenager. Going to school is 45% fun and 55% full of dullness. Going to school is also pretty amazing actually, some of you'll might not notice it. We would end up partying if the teacher doesn't come or we would just stare at the white board filled with messy writings, listening to every word our teacher says, cupping our face, digging through the pages of knowledge and trying so hard to register everything he or she just told us.

Provided a small and inexpensive handphone, I would send a message to my petite Mama asking her to fetch me up. And she would come, with her "MakCik" style, driving as if she were a racer. Jazrina would follow me back sometimes. Back home, means back to basics. Unlike for the past few days, I rarely sleep during the evening nowadays. There will always be an activity for me to do. I hope this doesn't come out weird, but it's such a great feeling to have loaded works and to get it done with rather than sleeping the whole evening. Having the natural inner lazyness inside of me would not be helpful if I make it as a habit, I meant it as in sleeping the whole evening.

My dear sister would come back home once in a while, to check up on us. Now that she's spending most of her time at her new apartment and juggling with her own career life, I feel like I need her sometimes eventhough we never had a close sisterly bond. Too bad, huh? Well, It's her own way to get on track with the trails of life. She has been through a lot, I meant that by A LOT. In fact, she seems well covered-up despite of all the shits. Oh, did I mention, I have a brother who could not care less about his own roots. God knows where he might be at this moment. Sound like a pretty happy and normal family? Slightly, yes. But who cares. Only I care, because I observe. When things get rough or when the skies are grey, Mama would be the one who had to be tough, and to smile all the way as if nothing ever happened.

In order to protect your heart is to not be fragile. And that's what My sister and Mama did. You can't always be one foot on the ground, right? Some people might be heartless. Some people have a big heart that they would be too nice to others. In my world, there are more heartless people than people who have big hearts. A penny for my thoughts? Believe me, I have a lot going on in my mind. I'm not going to make a mountain out of a molehill, It's just that I have a lot to say, equivalent to what I want to express.

I have a belly and I suck in Addmaths

2009-04-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

Loving Kate Spade!

What else, What else? Am still Thinking of an idea how to design Hertina's blog banner. In case you didn't notice, I haven't been paying too much attention on my blog these past few weeks. Exhausted of the previous test. It was sick. I mean, I suck in everything. For the first time, I feel like I am falling down, crashing into bits and pieces. Everyone is liable to make mistakes from time to time, Pfftt. On the other hand, I am more to positive-thinking right now by looking at the brighter side. I have a pile of delayed tasks to do! God knows what will happen tomorrow.

Misconception Over The Silliest Things

2009-03-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

The past few days were hectic and quite unusual for me. Went to this Adobe Photoshop class, and I've learnt so many cool and tricky stuffs that those nerds can do. And now, I've mastered all of them! Well, not technically. But still, another achievement for just a small step ahead. The instructor was a very kind and good-natured person. Somehow, she looked so fragile due to the way she talked and how forbearing she was. Overall, It was fun getting to know some of the tech-nerds as they were undeniably interesting.

As for today, as I thought I would end up waking up late as usual, everything changed when Hertina gave me a ring at around 11 0' clock in the morning, asking me if she could come over to my house. Then, I recalled back, noting that Syazwan on the other hand, sent me a text message earlier that morning, asking me if all of us could hang out somewhere. Well, everything seemed to be well-planned out since Fahim and Azrain or Winnie as I would say, were available at that time. So, we hung out half an hour after Hertina dropped by at my house. As time, as they would metaphorically say, passed by, we talked and talked all the way through. Exchanging stupid jokes and laughed our hearts out. It was Fahim and Syazwan's last day anyway, before they go to their own boarding shools next Monday.

For how they have filled our spaces in our daily dull lives, It was just sad to just say Good Bye again and to not see them for a long time. Though I've experienced this situation a lot of times already, It gets hard when this part occurs. Whatever it is, I wish you two, Syazwan and Fahim, all the best and don't get your ass bullied over some sick Form 5s when you're there. Choosing your own path is what's best for you and your future. InsyaAllah, with Allah's permission, both of you will achieve everything you've dreamt of!

Tomorrow would just another typical day then. Sundays. Ain, Tiqa and I will be hanging out at Hertina's house tomorrow. Just to have some fun baking cookies with the girls. Hmph (:

Depthless Originality

2009-03-18T00:24:00.000-07:00

Look what I found! Seriously, I am blown away by these webbies! As soon as I opened them, my heart was already jumping up and down, my eyes were wide opened and I gawked, just by witnessing the little details of their wonderful designs. Simply tremendous work. Amazing people with imaginative mind. You have to check out all of them (: Hover over their names and click 'em to open their webbies.

First and foremost, Emillie Chollat.

Second of all, Nil KaraIbrahimgil. That's one weird name, huh? She's a new rising star in Turky, singing all the way.

This one is quite interesting. It's about a small town called GreenVille, somewhere in South Carolina. From the way they built this webbie, you can just see how much effort they have put in to make it work. Everything is just stunning.The animations are endearingly cute :D Go here people, GreenVille.

Do your part

2009-03-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all of you already knew about Earth Hour, right? Oh Come on, it's all over the news and of course, the internet. I am not going to blabber about it. Just to remind myself and you, humans out there, Don't forget to get your asses off your couch, turn off the teevee, get yourself a nice hot chocolate and enjoy the moonlight at your backyard. Don't be such a lazy dufus, stop doing whatever it is that you're doing and switch off everything and let your mind rest.

10 more days to go!

For more info, Go here (;

People

2009-03-17T04:03:00.000-07:00

Amy Dunn

Engin Korkmaz

Bad Headache

2009-03-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's just so hard to look into her deep brown eyes and say "Take Care," each and every morning before I go to school.

It is now 12:37 in the morning, I've just got the sudden urge to switch off this laptop and go to sleep. But I won't. I just feel like writing right now and I can't stop. Just finished watching We Were The Mulvaneys. As I stumbled upon this movie, which was already begun as I pressed Channel 702, I immediately clicked on the Info button just to get a little bit of intro, hoping that It would be an interesting story. By the end of the story, I was already choking and began to cry eventhough Mama was just next to me. It really hit me hard, It was a wakeup call for me, certainly.

Just like one of the characters said, I am the observer, I watch, I hear but yet in the end, I just can't do anything about it. I witness everything, the pain, the fake smiles, the awkward moments. No one's perfect, Only Allah is perfect. None could ever and will never pass His boundaries. Just by thinking of the future, tears start to produce slowly in my baggy eyes. What if we will end up just like The Mulvaneys? I am the narrator, but I can't decide how the story will end. Well, that just sucks. The picture that was once painted with bright colours are now starting to fade away, leaving only the pityful dust that comes to visit once in a while. Everything is inverted now. I myself am not quite sure when will we land our feets together again just like the olden days, or when we'll see ourselves taking pictures together, laughing along and holding back our tears of happiness again. Am I going to continue talking about this? Yes, and that's for sure.

Since everyone has talked about last Saturday, I won't be wasting any of my time to write about it all over again. Just to conclude that It was fantabulously fun. And let me make this clear, Pandu Puteri won First for NGO which was a huge success for all of us, especially to those who participated the Kawad. While, Kadet Polis won first for GO, which I don't really seem to care. We got our butts off early in the morning just to watch Pandu Puteri getting their grooves on. And Let's give them a round of applause, shall we? Congratulations!

What is there left to be seen and heard? Until then.

I am in the mood of complaining.

2009-03-10T04:28:00.000-07:00

Whenever there is relief, there will always be a conflict aside of it. So who's to blame?

I have secret memos in my phone, where I pour all the little details of my everyday life. Not about school or my homies or the teachers, but about the real life. The real life, when I go back home from school and sleep during the night and wake up the next morning, noticing the same routine rotating at the same angle again and again. I won't spill everything in an obvious construction of words. I just need to write so that I can represent my deepest thoughts, thoughts that can bring me to tears at one point.

I can really feel the stabbing now that everyone's angry and upset. Who am I to judge and conclude? Everything seems to fall apart. My brain froze, my hands are shaking, my lips are trembling. I am lost. Scared of what might happen.

Before a landslide occurs, it would require a wide range of ground movement, such as rock falls, deep failure of slopes and shallow debris flows. It's the same like when you start doing something everyone dislikes, there would be a big chance for small failures to occur from time to time, but you won't realise it until the actual landslide takes place. It is almost like a pitfall. The whole world starts crashing down upon you, and that's when you end up taking your deep breath and becoming fully aware for the damage you have destructed. The pain you've put through everyone else around you.

Sometimes, when you think life is short, it is actually short enough for you to even care about the ones who love you the most. Sometimes, I am petrified by the fact that realising the truth is my biggest fear. All is lost when you think you could hold on, but the verity lied to you. People would be forced to swallow a truth drug or they would be tested with a lie detector just to tell the accuracy of truth that they have been hiding. But, they can't handle the truth. It is what it is. Allah S.W.T gave us only one life, and that one particular life is supposed to be filled with honesty and modesty.

I am trying my best to keep them smiling and preventing them from thinking about all the nonsensical stuffs. Everyone's worried. Everyone is in an uneasy and complex situation. I feel sore and numb.

When will this end?

Something new, I guess?

2009-03-05T02:51:00.000-08:00

I pity my blog. I mean, I'm in a state where my brain could not even think right. There are so many things to do in such a short time. Well, who wouldn't expect this kind of situation? Especially, when you're a Form 4 student.

This is my 58th post. And I need a change for once. I'm getting sick of this blog, and I need a change. I just need to refresh it, transforming it into something brand new! I'll clean up my dusty old blog and make it Nice and shiny. Yes, that's what I'm going to do! But I'll have to wait until the next school holiday, which is next week. I have to finish up all of my school works first.

Filling the empty blanks.

2009-02-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

What Happened to My Blog?!

This week was definitely filled with tons of laughter and joy. Somehow, somewhere, we made numerous stupid jokes and laughed our hearts out, I don't know why but it just happened anyway. Though the fact that behind the all of the happy moments, there lies the responsibility of a student, the assignments that we have to work on, it just never ends. They keep coming from time to time with no sense of mercy. I guess, the only way to overcome the pressure is to have the ultimate diligence and determination in myself. That just sounds so hard. Ugh, life is never easy, actually.

Unfortunately, two of my dear friends are leaving soon enough. It all happens too fast. We laugh, we fight with each other, we make up 5 minutes after that, and the next thing you know, they're going away. What I'm trying to say is, I'm not trying to be emo here but I'll miss you guys for sure, Ammar Fiqry and Danial Firdaus. All the best for you two, and be good boys at your new school (:

Back to square one again. That means, giving all of my attention to my studies and full concentration on what is going on in the real life. Sometimes, when I think of what the future holds for me, it tickles my mind, making me realise that I can never foresee what will happen to me or what I'll decide to do with my lame-o life. It's just one of those myteries that we'll never fully understand. But the truth remains the same, that you'll just have to carry everything on your shoulder, no matter how stressful it is.

Everything I see now tells me a story. I just realised that I've been observing things around me, and I love narrating a few lines about what I see. Weird, huh? That's just me, I love to think. Thinking is a way for me to store my inner thoughts and to keep everything to myself. Keeping 'em as secret codes. I should be sleeping now but I won't, eventhough I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow. I have serious works to do, Oh boy. Will be updating more soon.

Dee says, "Beep :D [huge grin]".

ABC all over again.

2009-02-19T06:49:00.000-08:00

Whoa, can we just hold on for a second? This week has been tremendously nonsensical, what the hell? As I jot down all the tasks that should be done by next week, It struck in my mind that everything is finally crystal clear now. From what I've observed, there is no and will never be a single rest for a particular human being. Even if we have the time to rest, it will never be enough. NEVER. For example, Me, Myself. So far, I have 6 more tasks to be done. The sense of having all of these responsibilities is pure exhaustion. All the settings have been set and now, I'd just have to wait for the outcome. The pay-off. The real layout.

Eventhough this very week itself was extremely tiring but it paid off. Alhamdulillah. Especially today. I was rushing back and forth from school to home and to tuition. Oh my, at least I got great news to freshen up my day (:

There are so many things to do right now! I feel like screaming my heads off. Patience, Dee. Remember patience. Now, I'm determined to learn at least 2 techniques of Photoshop every day. So that I'll be more familiar on how things function and how they work. It's almost like learning Addmaths, seriously. Living in this cutting edge era, it would be necessary for me to learn these stuffs as I'm so into it and loving it. I do hope it would work out.

A fool, narrating his lines.

2009-02-16T03:48:00.000-08:00

Malacca was not even in my favourite destination list before. I was reluctant to get my butts off the couch to accompany my parents to Malacca. I pictured the journey and everything to be dull and boring as usual, but I was wrong. The moment we got off the car, I was glad to see and feel the atmosphere. It was truly a blissful moment for me as it has been 2 years since I last took a breath of fresh Kampung air. Atuk Bidin's compound was so huge and was decorated with tall Rambutan and Ciku trees. I took my opportunity to take some photos along the way. Thanks to Mama for being such a natural model of the day. And Buya too. And the best part was that there was a Chinese Cemetery behind Atuk Bidin's backyard, How cool is that? I meant, how eerie could that be? Sheeshh, well that's life.

All in all, we had fun eventhough it was only a one day trip. The city was quite packed with people and cars. I didn't get a chance to go sightseeing, but I still managed to take some photos of the historic buildings there. They were wonderful! Our hotel, situated just a few metres away from the sea, had a spectacular view of the The Jetty and the other hotel beside it, Holiday Inn. I can't believe I'm typing this, but really, It was magnifique! Especially during the night, when all the lights start to glimmer and when all the people came out to have a great time.

Obviously, my predictions were wrong about what our Malacca trip would be. Every picture of our journey was depicted beautifully. Alhamdulillah.

Next Stop, Langkawi baby!

Closer to Nature

2009-02-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

There was no water when I came back from school that Friday. Mama and I were really frustrated, of course. The mere thought of not having the chance to clean up myself was devastating. Wawa dropped by after that. I asked her to give me back my camera, and so she came. And there I was, still wearing my school uniform, with my stinking and messy hair, taking photos of Mama's Garden. All of a sudden, I noticed that Mama's Garden was so beautiful that I had to take photos of the colourful shades of green and the lovely flowers. And it was a great idea to start with my digital scrapbook.

Since I can't upload large photos on my blog, I suppose you just have to check out My Digital Scrapbook at my Flickr (:

Inconclusive situation.

2009-02-15T21:26:00.000-08:00

OH my, how am i suppose to start with this one? So many things happened in just a short time. I nearly fainted because of the whole commotion. I feel bad for not updating my blog. It has been a week as I haven't gotten any chance to spend some time with my laptop these days. School work, don't even get me started with that one. Well, as for today, I managed to not go to school as I am so exhausted and unwell. Premenstrual Syndrome, I guess.

And now that I have the time to use my laptop, I have tons of work to do. I promised to myself that I'd start "digital scrapbooking" from now on. It's one of the cool stuffs that I'm going to do with my Bamboo, my Boo. But, it'll take a while for me to adjust and sort everything to the right places. For my next 3 posts, I'll be jabbering about what I've done for the past two days. And I'll upload some pictures too, just to make the posts interesting, hopefully. At the end of every post, I'll try to produce one page of my digital scrapbook based on each occasion. Alright? Okay then.

I thought of attending an Adobe Photoshop for Beginners class, but I don't know. It's a 3 hours free training session, anyway. So why not? I'm dying to find one. I just hope that I'll have the time to do so.

Oh please oh please oh please :(

Let me tell you a lil bit of something.

2009-02-09T03:45:00.001-08:00

U-huh. Yup, yeah. You got that right. I've finally bought Bamboo, at last! Alhamdulillah. Dreams do come true, eh? Well, sometimes. I mean, seriously, it's Bamboo people! I'll post some of the pictures of my new Baby soon. It is truly insane, I tell you. The moment I walked into the store, my heart was beating so fast that I suffocated. You can just tell how happy I was at that time. I immediately went straight to one of the salesman, anxiously waiting for him to show me my destiny. My eyes were wide opened, I was jumping up and down inside just to see it in front of my bare eyes. I know I sound like I'm exaggerating the whole situation, but It was truly a moment to be captured for someone like me. I was amazed, of course and was hypnotized by it's beauty (:

The next thing you know, I was already holding it with my hands. It was as if a spotlight has shone on to my Bamboo, you know how that feels right? Yeah, exactly.

Well, that's just about it for now. I am now officially falling in love with it. Truly, Madly, Deeply. Will be posting about some more interesting facts about this Bamboo and what I'll do with it. Perhaps, graphic illustrations or even crazy lil' doodles.

*Wondering what Bamboo is? :-/ Go here, folks.

Aiming for Bamboo

2009-02-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

It's 12.56 in the morning and I don't have any clue what to do right now. Everyone seems to be sleeping already. I have no one to babble with at this moment. And now, I'm seeking for my blog's attention. I can blurt everything to my blog, It won't repel me, It'll just stare at me, listening eagerly, allowing me to speak my mind through words.

I thought of editing Amal's latest photo that was taken by none other than Dona, not Anis this time. The Paparazzis seem to be on their move now, heh? :D

SO, let me tell you about this week. School was quite dull, most of the teachers didn't come to class, some of them didn't even come to school, to tell you the truth. Basically, all the time that was given, which is supposed to be filled with knowledge and mind-thinking exercises, was spent on loitering around the school, hanging out with others or It would be just me and Hertina or Ain, talking nonsense and laughing our butts off. There was a slight happiness and joy though, eventhough it was boring. It's a mixed-feeling situation. Of course, when teachers are not coming to class, it would be one hell of a joy to us, but still, we would be left out in our studies as well.

Well, many weird and crazy stuffs happened too. I would have to mention about the Jazrina incident XD I know it has been 3 days already, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for what had happened that day. It was my clumsiness that brought me into that whole commotion. I wouldn't want to mention the other incident as it is too stupid to even think about it. Just leave that matter aside.

Not to forget, this week also ended with a sad feeling deep inside. I wish all the best to those who will be going to boarding schools soon. Have fun with your new life there! There are a whole lot of opportunities for you out there, make use of it and cherish everything that comes across your future. That's all for now, off i go!

Just pause it for a second, will you?

2009-02-03T06:36:00.000-08:00

The holidays have gone away and school's here, dropping by. Eye bags, feeling worn out and fatigued. There will never be the ultimate time to actually Rest. By the time I go back home from school, there would be just enough time to eat and do my homework but, the fact is that there would never be enough time for me to sleep, to rest my jammed brain and to lay my head on the soft and comfy pillow. And nothing else.

I've been planning about dismantling my schedule and sorting it again, wait a minute, I don't even have a stupid schedule. I do whatever I want to do and whenever I want to. And yeah, that's the problem right there. I'm not commited to what I do. I laze around, pretending that It's okay to not complete my homeworks or wash my school shoes or even cleaning up my dusty room. Whenever I start to think about it, I immediately discuss with myself about reorganising everything and to put them into the right places, to where they belong. And again, Just like I told you, It won't happen. At least I made an attempt to do so, but it'll all end half way down the road. Forget about my crappy ramblings.

I just had to. Oh Izzat, one of my dear friends, I wish you all the best and I will surely pray for your success in life on Earth and Akhirat. As you'll be leaving soon enough, I would like to express that eventhough we've known each other in such a short time, I feel like we've been friends for ages. And for that, we do feel a bit reluctant to let you go but you've made your decision, you've chosen your own path to pursue with your life. May Allah bless you along the way. We'll surely miss you (:

Now that everyone's leaving their current school for a better one [boarding school], I am still here, still in the same atmosphere, no changes, no nothing, thinking that soon we'll be like the grown ups. Graduating from high school, getting our first car, continuing our studies at a college or a university, experiencing our first job, getting married, having babies all over the house and to grow old until you breathe for the very last time. I really am feeling the impact now, the flow of life, how it passes by so slowly yet extremely fast. It's insane!

But I'm okay with it. I'll be alright, I guess.

alyahya

A state of Confusion.

2009-01-28T03:10:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I last wrote about something real, I meant real by deep feelings and thoughts. Something that has to do with life itself, and it's undefined meaning. Whenever I am crestfallen, It would always be me, looking upon the baby-blue sky, imagining things from the panes of the window. Witnessing the tall green trees moving in unison. And within a few moments, the phone would vibrate, telling me that whether it's Hertina, telling me that she's extremely bored or it's just a stupid stranger, mistaken me for someone else he or she knows. And then there I go again, back to staring at the flat-stretched sky.

People tend to get mad just because their alarm clock couldn't work. They would start banging it on the table, saying nasty things to the clock. Humans, I myself is a person that could be easily filled with rage when it comes to unsatisfaction. Thinking how annoying it can be, it's like a wave of terrible sound, spreading through your mind and reverbrates your ears. And soon, your head feels like it's going to crack at any moment like the crevasse of glacier, splashing out countless blobs of water. Ask yourself, that's normal for a human being, right?

I just read this book called The Book of Flights, and am still understanding how the story flows. It is weird though, when people read books, they will surely find new words and search their meanings in the big ol' dictionary and they would eventually forget the words from time to time. I am actually describing myself, I find, I acknowledge and I forget. The effort to read itself is a huge accomplishment for me. And then, there comes a brand new word in front of my bare-naked eyes. I would get excited just to see a new word, hoping it would stick on my brain. And to be able to use it in my usual writings or conversations. I would get excited too just by knowing that my friends don't even know the word exists and I would start explaining to them about it.

How pathetic is that? But no, I would forget about the word in the end, still knowing that it's still there, somewhere in my mind. I just couldn't find it. Disappointed and depressed. I stumble upon my own words. When I write essays, I would end up staring on the white blank surface, seeking for ideas and none would show up. People perform this act countless of times and I am still sitting here stiffly, with no gesture or movement. It's like walking on your own shadow, simply pointless and aimless.

I couldn't care less about this tiny cell-like thought. Wondering how people in the olden days could write such beautiful stories, poems, poetries and et cetra. While I on the other hand, living in this cutting edge era, couldn't even think of any. Maybe, I don't fully understand life in a sense that it matters a lot to me. Maybe, those people who lived back in the olden days really experienced and knew the profound meaning of life. Maybe so.

I am in need of Oghab Halva right now. It has been my Heroin for the past 2 years.

We were Exuberantly Energetic today (:

2009-01-27T03:25:00.000-08:00

27th of January 2009

And then, there's me, being the photographer of the day.

Click here for more.

Enchanting Incantations.

2009-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Seriously, what has got into me these days?! First, Yuna and now, Estrella? Since Vimeo's video embed code, for some reasons, doesn't suit Blogger's, I used Youtube to display this video on my blog. Vimeo is better as all of it's videos are high definition [HD]. But too bad.

I also found one short-length video by Ted Chung. Go and check it out, A thousand Words. It might take a while for the video to load, but it's worth waiting. Beautifully done. And not to forget, Stephen Poff. I admire all of his work, from A to Z. He's a phenomenon when it comes to photography. If you're one photography freak, do visit his Photostream, and you will surely gawk at his fascinating photos. His wonderful piece of art speaks for itself. I was enthralled by one of his photostream, that is 365 days, which he clarified his everyday life in picture motion. In other words, he pictures his life using different types of photography tricks such as Lightwriting.

You'll got to check 'em out!

dee alyahya

Bamboo Tablet ?

2009-01-25T02:48:00.000-08:00

Knowing that life is as it is, I am still in front of the screen, neglecting my homeworks.

I haven't got a single clue of what has got into me these days. The screeching sound of the ear-splitting fireworks are killing me. Am Pretending not to care. Now that the holidays are stopping by, I thought of spending some time learning more of Photoshop tips. I've been attached to it since last month. Wawa, who got me a new Macromedia Web Collection, have been preoccupied with her work lately. I kind of miss her, I can't believe I just typed that. Euw, but I really hate missing her presence.

Though this house is turning upside down, I don't have any power to do anything about it. I feel heavy inside. Stuck in this cold and dark dungeon.

*Sorry for the inconvenience.

While Amal is maundering about her Baby Love at her blog, I on the other hand, still don't get it. She kept on changing the topic everytime I ask her about their relationship. I am imagining things now. Amal, You have to tell me! Whatevs, I know you're just going to leave me wondering.
Now, let me tell you about yesterday. Yesterday was the day I fell in love with Bamboo. Don't get me wrong, I am actually talking about The one and Only Bamboo Fun Tablet. Yes, that's right. Bamboo Fun Tablet. I was immediately hypnotized as I scroll down it's webbie. Witnessing the beauty of Bamboo. You can do just almost everything with it!

Hertina persuaded me to buy one. Well, I must get one as it's too irresistable. It's a must-have for someone like me. I was jumping up and down last night, too excited I guess? Just to see the Bamboo on the laptop screen. Now my job is to give Mama the puppy eye. Wish me luck.

Alyahya

2009-01-22T23:53:00.000-08:00

I just love posting photos these days! Since I don't quite have the right topic to talk about. Everyday is the same. Same ol' routine. My life as a Form 4 student is great, though I dislike the drastic changes. It is almost like a "culture shock", from Form 3 to Form 4, where we have to step into a whole different level. It's insane I tell you but, But- I kind of like it though. Learning new stuffs, slotting new things that I've learnt into the spaces between my brain and being all ears when Ustaz is narrating his stories. His pedagogy interests me.

Now I'm going through a situation where I have to choose between two options, either Arts or Tasawwur Islam, which makes up 10 subjects over all. Am confused and currently in a Dilemma. Some say that I should just take both. Though my instinct tells me that I should just take either one, but Still - I love both subjects. I am just worried if I could'nt withstand or handle all 11 subjects at a time. Of course, some might say, Oh For God's Sake, just take both, end of story. But it's not that easy.

I guess I just have to proceed with Solat Istikharah. Oh, the photos? That's Meera and Ain. I should've posted these photos the day they jogged all the way to my house, which was last year. Eventhough they were exhausted and tired, they seemed to be hyper and energetic as always, determined to lose some weight and be healthy. HAHA Roiteeee.

Till then Folks.

Photo of The Day

2009-01-21T06:54:00.001-08:00

Thanks to Dear ANIS and also Ain Azlam Shah XD Though Anis has already uploaded these photos on her blog, It just struck in my mind that I wanted to do the same. Well, I have to! For Amal would appreciate me if I do so. I guarantee that even in 30 years to come, we would still remember this photo (: I guess Amal would already have children with him by that time. [Whoa, wha? I didn't say anything :O]

Rocket In My Mind

2009-01-20T01:24:00.000-08:00

Anak Apek ; Syed Aish Raimi.

Eventhough life put you in such complications, you never fail to carve a huge smile on your face. And, to make everyone happy with your cute-naughty behaviour. No one could ever resist your adorable aura. The vibe that you bring makes people want to cuddle you even more (: